Tag Archives: family

The Power of a Mother’s Love

Posted in Cancer, Family Friday, Healing, My thoughts by

Mother’s Day is approaching.  I was impacked by a video I watched this morning.  A mother had given birth to twins, a boy and a girl prematurely.  There is always a risk a baby will not make it when born prematurely.  This was so with the little boy.  The doctor gave the “dead” baby into the mothers arms and left her alone with her husband.  The mother laid the baby on her heart, the father put his arms around him keeping him warm with their body heat.  The mother spoke to her baby and told him how much he was loved and about all his extended family that he belonged to.  She continued speaking lovingly and tenderly.  The baby began to breathe and move.  The doctor said “No, he is dead.”  But the little boy lived and is now a healthy five year old.  There was life in the words the mother spoke over her lifeless child.  God is love and as we show love and speak love it brings life.  This speaks to me of a saying that love is stronger than death.

Love is expressed through touch.  When a baby is born he has to go through the squeeze to be born, comes from a cosy, warm place into a cooler room and has to gasp for breath?  Surely it must be stressed, poor thing.  My daughter is an Obstetrician surgeon.  He helps some mothers give birth.  Her hands are the first hands that hold those new borns.  She speaks life over the mother and baby.  Another daughter is a Mid Wife sister.  Her hands too are the first that hold many newly born babies.  

There is a song that goes “Love lifted me” by Kenny Rodgers.  I think of it today.

When my husband and family learned I had cancer their love lifted me and helped me heal and live.  Others showed their love by visiting me and bringing gifts.
Mother Teresa lifted people who were dying from the gutter.  She and her nurses held them and comforted them.  Many widows and widowers enjoy going to the hairdresser.  The hairdresser’s hands may be the only ones that touch them all week.  When a marriage breaks down or one is bereaved the one thing people have told me is they miss being touched.

We make a promise “To have and to hold from this day forward, till death do us part.”  When I made those vows I did not know how important having someone to hold was.  The love between a couple grows into holding a child.  Love grows and brings life and increase.  

Jesus said, “they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.” (‭Mark‬ ‭16‬:‭18‬ NIV)

Holding someone who is sick brings comfort and love and makes them better.  The power of God is in love and touch.  Nurses do a great job.  When I was in hospital, having children, with a broken arm or with cancer the nurses comforted me, reassured me and drove away my fears.

Family Friday. My Coats did not Wear Out.

Posted in Cancer, Family Friday, Healing, My thoughts, Nations by

As you can gather from my recent blogs, I believe in keeping warm and I like woollen products.

Brendan bought me a beautiful three quarters length coat.  It was made from wool.  It was navy with bunches of grapes in the weave.  It was comfortable to wear especially when I was driving.  It also suited me when I was pregnant.  The children cuddled in beside me when I was wearing it, like a mother hen covering her chicks.  I enjoyed wearing this coat for many years.  The scriptures say that the children of Israel walked round the desert for forty years and their clothes did not wear out.  This coat of mine didn’t wear out!  

“During the forty years that I led you through the wilderness, your clothes did not wear out, nor did the sandals on your feet. (‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭29‬:‭5-6‬ NIV)

The symbol of grapes is very important to me.  When I read in the scriptures that the children of Israel went into the promised land.  They saw grapes and giants.  The grapes were that big it took two men to carry a cluster of them.  But the people were afraid of the giants and failed to go into the land God promised them.  Isn’t that often the case in our lives.   We are afraid of change because of fear or lack of faith.  Joshua and Caleb said “With God’s help we can defeat the giants and eat the grapes.”  But the people did not believe.  I wore my coat as a statement of faith.  I wanted to eat grapes and destroy giants.

Since I read this scripture I decided I would believe God.  With God’s help I have defeated some giants along the way.  For example.  Cancer is a giant.  With God’s help I am healed of cancer.  I believed God to help me.  I am alive to enjoy good food especially grapes.
 
Ten years ago a friend gave me a fur coat.  I was wearing it till recently.  It was full length and made of artificial fur fabric.  I wore it constantly from Autumn to Spring.  It protected me from cold winds, when we would go for a walk.  It kept me warm like the caring arms of my Heavenly Father.  I looked prosperous.  I did not have to get dressed up.  I pulled on my coat and I looked a million dollars.  I have travelled to Canada, Iceland, New Zealand, England, Scotland and Slovakia in my fur coat.  No one complained about me wearing a fur coat. I felt at home when  I was in Iceland recently. Garments made from seal skin and animal hides were for sale.  People who live there need to walk or work outdoors in the harsh, cold weather.

Brendan and I were visiting in New Zealand.  We had to travel by bus to a friend in another town.  We had two cases each, to haul around with us in a strange place.  Tempers were frayed. It was springtime and I was getting hot under the collar pulling my cases up and down hills.  Eventually we found the right bus stop.

We got on the next bus that stopped.  It was home time for the workers.  The bus was full.  Standing room only.  Brendan told me to get in and find a seat while he lifted the luggage up.  The driver was impatient to get on his journey and was not a happy camper.  There was no luggage compartment for the cases!  As I walked up the aisle people looked at me as if I was an alien in my fur coat and red face.  There, Brendan and I stood in the aisle, cases blocking the walkway.  We looked like two mad Irish bears.  No one offered help.  Eventually as people disembarked we got a seat and rested our weary bones.  We laughed at this incident for many days later.

Soon months back I had a dream I was wearing a red coat.  I completely forgot about the dream.  Brendan and I went shopping looking to buy some presents for friends in Canada.  It was sale time.  Brendan found a red coat and asked me to try it on.  Hey presto, it fitted me and was comfortable.  It was made of wool.  He bought it for me.  I remembered my dream.  It came true.  I had to hang up my bear coat! 

Brendan and I are travelling in Canada at the moment.  We flew up over the mountains from Vancouver to Dawson Creek in a Bombardier aircraft.  I felt safe in this plane.  It reminded me of home.  Bombardier parts are made in Belfast, N Ireland.  When we arrived at the small airport I was greeted by the ground staff as if I was a dignitary.  “Welcome to Dawson Creek.  Have a good day lady in red.”  We all laughed.  I am getting compliments everywhere I go.  

Therefore the redeemed of the Lord shall return, and come with singing unto Zion; and everlasting joy shall be upon their head: they shall obtain gladness and joy; and sorrow and mourning shall flee away. (‭Isaiah‬ ‭51‬:‭11‬ KJV)

I knitted My Children School Sweaters

Posted in Ireland, My thoughts, Nature by

I lived in the country and as I walked to school it was a familiar sight to see sheep grazing in the fields.  I looked out for the lambs playing in spring.  Their long tails would wriggle as they fed from their mothers.

Outside my home in Bright a number of sheep grazed.  They would be feeding just before dawn when it was cool and the dew was still on the grass.  They rested in the warm morning sun.  I thought to myself if I had any land I would keep sheep.  They did not need much attention.  Each sheep may have two lambs a year.
God promises to bless our herds if we obey him.
Our sheep will increimagease by thousands, by tens of thousands in our fields; (‭Psalm‬ ‭144‬:‭13‬ NIV)
You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country. The fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock—the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks. (‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭28‬:‭3-4‬ NIV)

My father kept some sheep.  In late spring the sheep’s woollen coat would be sheared.  I remember a man who was hired for the day would skilfully cut the wool off the animal.  The sheep would scurry away when the workman was finished, free from being held down but a little lighter from his coat of wool.

When I was at primary school, I learnt about the wool industry in Ireland.  The wool produced in Ireland supported the Irish cottage industry of knitting Aran sweaters and making tweed.  The women of the house would spend the winter evenings knitting. The woollen Aran sweaters were used by fishermen.  The sweater would keep them warm and dry in the cold Atlantic weather.  Each family made up their own pattern of chains and cable twists.  The picture of a mother sitting by her fire knitting a garment speaks to me of peace, love and serenity.  She was not wasting time.  Even in rest her hands were working.  Her mind was active to work out the complicated patterns. She would not let depression or idleness take hold.

These women reminded me of the words in proverbs 31

She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household; they are clothed in scarlet. (‭Proverbs‬ ‭31‬:‭13, 21‬ NIV)
She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. (‭Proverbs‬ ‭31‬:‭17, 27‬ NIV)

I love browsing in shops selling Irish woollen goods when I go on holiday to Donegal.  I remember my human geography lessons about the Irish wool industry.  The memory comes alive when I see the beautiful products, knitted scarfs, hats and jumpers for sale. I love to touch the garments that have been created by hand, rather than in some factory.

In Ireland it is the rules of the school that the children attending wear a uniform, a jumper, trousers or tunic in the colour decided by the school authorities.  I believe this is a good thing. The jumpers or cardigans that were sold in the store were made of acrylic yarn.  This material was easy to wash and dry but not to keep you warm.  I wanted my children to have woollen jumpers to keep them warm on cold winter days when they had to play outside in the playground.

I decided to knit each one a sweater for school.  I sourced pure wool in the colour of the school  and a knitting pattern that was easy to follow.  I put my knitting skills, that I had learnt at school, to use.   I was like the women in the cottages, knitting a garment in the long winter nights.   Each jumper was knitted with love.  I imagined my daughter or son wrapped in the warmth of the wool but also the warmth of my love as he played outside in the school play ground.  It also kept them protected from colds and flus.  Each child’s jumper lasted for a couple of years.

They never seemed to wear out.  It was money and time well spent.

Testimony Tuesday My Son Recovers After a Fall.

Posted in Family Friday, Healing, Holiday, Ireland, My thoughts, Prayer, Testimony Tuesday by

Twenty one years ago I had my baby Abraham, my thirteenth child.   He was born in the middle of August.  We were invited to a Christian Summer Camp in Wicklow, Ireland, the third week of August.  Abraham was only a few days old when we set off for a holiday.  I did not want our family to miss the holiday before they went back to school in September.  I believe having a family holiday is so important.  The parents are away from work and all can spend time together in a relaxed environment.  It is a time to make memories that will be recollected later on dark days.  

We sent off with the new baby and nine other young children in our yellow van.  We were warmly welcomed by friends at the camp site.  Other mothers wanted to see my new born baby.  They couldn’t believe I came after giving birth a few days before.  The adventure was worth it.  There was family and friends around to help.  There were games arranged for children in the mornings.  There were parks to play in under supervision.
We rented two caravans.  My daughters helped me.  Visitors called to see the baby.

My boys loved the outdoor activities. They could let off steam and expend their energies in a safe environment.  One of my sons fell and knocked his head.  He was slightly dazed.  My husband and I agreed not to take him to hospital and prayed for him.  If he got any worse we would go to hospital.  We were staying in the middle of the country a long way from the nearest hospital in Dublin.  I did not like the thought of a long drive to the hospital and the disruption to our holiday.  I believed my son would be alright according to the Word of God.  

I remembered Psalm 91

If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. (‭Psalm‬ ‭91‬:‭9-12‬ NIV)

I prayed and trusted God that no disaster would come near us in our tent/ caravan.  My son had a good night’s sleep and was alert and his normal self in the morning.  God healed any pain my son had.  He went out to play as usual.  We had a great holiday.

God our Father and Jesus promise that if we obey him he will bless us and protect us under his wings. 

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” (‭Psalm‬ ‭91‬:‭1-2‬ NIV)

I would have been a nervous wreck if I was worried about my children.  I learnt to trust God.  I was not in control.  I trusted God to look after my family. 

We learnt from a family who came to stay in our town.  The parents let the children run, play, climb trees and scale walls.  Some of us in Ireland can be afraid to let children out of their sight.  Perfect love casts out fear.

Family Friday. My Six Boys Get Their Hair Cut.

Posted in My thoughts, Provision by

I was reading an article today in a magazine.  It’s title was “Self reliance tips that will save you money.”  Number 11 on the list was the following.
“Cut your family members’ hair yourself.  A quality set of clippers costs less than 50 dollars.”

This article jogged my memory.  Twenty years ago I had six young boys ranging from the age of ten to three.  I would take them to the barbers to get their hair cut.  I would usually go on a Saturday morning.  They were off school. The barbers waiting room would be filled with other mothers with their boys or workmen who only had Saturday off.

It didn’t take long for each child’s hair to be cut but I had to get six children seen to.  That would take about forty five minutes all together.  I had to keep the others quiet in a confined space for that time. They got impatient by the time the last one was finished.  They would take turns climbing on my knee.  One asked “Mummy when can we go home?”  “Mummy I’m hungry.”  “Mummy, I’ve to go to the toilet.”  ” Mummy he hit me.”  “Mummy I don’t  want my hair cut. I want to leave it the way it is.” By the time everyone had their hair cut, I was frazzled.

I let their hair grow as long as was reasonable till I would visit the barber again.  I thought of a way to avoid the stress of having to go to the barber again.  It wasn’t because of what it cost but it was to avoid the long wait.

I knew a lady who worked in a training centre, teaching young students hairdressing.  I took my boys there.  I watched closely how she did her job.  She used an electric hair cutter with graded combs.  Number one was for the sides and number three was for the top.  Then she trimmed the fringe with a pair of scissors.

I thought to myself “I will try cutting my children’s hair myself.”  I bought a set of hair clippers and a pair of hairdresser’s scissors.   I learned quickly to use the machine.  The boys didn’t mind me cutting their hair.  I think I did a good job.  They looked well with their neatly trimmed hair styles.  I said to my husband,  “Think of the money I am saving us by cutting our children’s hair.”

When it was time to return to school in September all my children looked fresh in their uniforms and their neatly trimmed hair.  I was proud of them.  They looked healthy with their tanned or fleckled skin after the outdoor life they enjoyed all summer.

I even trimmed my daughters’ hair.  They had long hair so it was a matter of cutting the hair when it was wet, in a straight line across the back. As the boys got older they helped cut each other’s hair with the clippers.  The girls wanted to try different styles so they went to the hairdressers.  I am thankful they didn’t change their hair colour by bleaching it!

I got confident enough in my hairdressing skills to offer to cut my husband’s hair.  He agreed.  Brendan was sitting down and I was about to start when a friend arrived.  He was as bald as a coot.  He said to my husband “If I had a head of hair like you I wouldn’t let anyone do an amateur job!”  Any idea of cutting my husband’s hair evaporated.

Testimony Tuesday. My Son was Healed of Septicaemia.

Posted in Family Friday, Healing, My thoughts, Prayer, Testimony Tuesday by

My children seldom missed a day off school.  Brendan and I  believed  God’s word in Exodus, I am The Lord who heals you.  None of the diseases of Egypt will affect you.  In the middle of winter my dad called me and asked how were my children.  I told them they were fine and getting on well at school.  He asked, “Do your  children not get the cold and flu in the winter time”.  I explained we believed God to keep our children healthy.  If they are happy and eat good food I believe their immune system can fight off infection.

When children return to school after holidays they often pick up an infection, a tummy upset, the flu or perhaps something more serious like the measles, or mumps.  If one’s child is infected the whole class can get it.  Some children miss school so often it affects their studies.

If one of our children did get something more serious then Brendan and I would pray for him and he would recover.   Healing is the children’s bread.

Our son John, when he was nine years old took a fever.  Normally if one of my children was not feeling well, I would give him drinks of honey and lemon and keep  him warm and resting.  That did the trick.  But John was not getting better after three days.  I called the doctor.  He was a newly qualified doctor and thankfully was able to discern something seriously was wrong with John.  He admitted him to hospital.  Tests were done and the doctor found out that John’s knee joints were inflamed and infected.  He had Septicaemia , a serious, life-threatening infection that gets worse very quickly.  He was put on a high dose of penicillin.  He was given the best of care.  He lay weak for some days.  We would visit with his brothers but he wasn’t able to respond.  Normally he was an active boy,  full of joy.

We didn’t like to see him so ill, but we didn’t panic.  We continued to pray for him.  He did recover fully.   The doctor told me later that without the penicillin treatment to curb the infection in his knees, my son could have died or have been left disabled.  We thanked God for the young doctor who diagnosed the condition and the care in the hospital.

The previous Christmas John’s friend got a computer game for Christmas.  We did not get our children any of the games and gadgets that were coming on the market.  We took our children for walks and encouraged them to play outdoor games and activities.   I noticed that John was spending a lot of time at his friend’s house.  He was playing the computer games.  He told me later that he would often feel dizzy after playing a game.

I believe that the activity on the computer affected John’s health.  Brendan and I learned a lesson.  We did not allow our children to have any computer games since then.

 

Family Friday. Their Angels see the Face of my Father in Heaven.

Posted in Family Friday, Ireland, My thoughts, Provision by

Brendan and I were visiting with a family in India.  It is exciting travelling along a road in India.  You have a variety of vehicles and animals all trying to avoid each other.

On the back of a lorry we saw the caption “One plus one equals one”.  It is an advertisement to promote population control in their country.  With Brendan and me, one plus one equalled fourteen.

We were telling our hosts about our journey and laughing about the caption on the lorry.  This family had four children.  We were sharing about our fourteen children.  The mother called Josey, told us about family traditions in India.

When a mother gives birth she is cared for by extended family and servants.  Josey visited with her daughter when she gave birth for six weeks.  The new mother was not allowed out of bed to do any work.  Her energy was preserved to feed her baby and recover from the delivery.

In those six weeks Josey pampered her daughter, bathing her in essential oils and herbs.  She cooked special energy giving meals.  The Chinese give nursing mothers ginger soup, which helps the mother’s body recover.  When the baby was fed by mum, Josey would care for baby till the next feed.

I commented ” I am due twenty one months of essential oil treatments!”

Josey went on to tell me that in most families  every baby is given a servant to help the mother look after him.  What a great help for any mother.  Who wouldn’t mind  having lots of children if there was all that help available.  The husband didn’t seem to be involved in the child care in India.

My husband helped me rear our children.   As more children were born the older children helped the younger children.   When I returned from hospital with a new baby my children gathered around me and baby.  They wanted to nurse their new sister or brother.  Each baby was prayed for and welcomed into our family.  There was room made for each one in our hearts and our home.

An angel was assigned by God for each baby.  “See to it you don’t despise one of these little ones who behold the face of my Father in heaven.”

We may not have had servants to help but God assigned an angel to help.  Imagine a heavenly messenger arriving in our home with each new child.   We treated each child as a gift sent down from the Throne of God in heaven.  Each one was special and had a particular destiny in this world which I believed God would help them accomplish.  Each child was blessed.  Who would not want a gift from God?  The policies of the nations are preventing people receiving gifts from God.

My oldest daughter was studying for her A levels.  Beside her desk in her bedroom was a baby’s cot.  She studied while her baby brother David slept.

Mary looked after two brothers in her bedroom, while she studied at night.  She was strict with them and would not take any messing.

The young children loved to go to Hannah’s room.  It was the warmest room in the house.  Hannah allowed the boys to climb into her bed, if they awoke early.  They could keep warm under the covers.  On a Saturday morning they would spent hours playing games there.

Our youngest daughter used to go up to her sister Ruth’ s room.  She would tug at Ruth to get up and change her nappy.  If Ruth didn’t respond, her wee sister, whom she loved, would climb up and sit on Ruth’s pillow.  She eventually got her big sister’s attention.

Everyone loved to lie in on  Saturday mornings, when there was no school or work.

It wasn’t easy for my husband.  He laid down his life for his family.  He did not have interests that took him away from the family.  If we did have recreation we did it together, a walk on the beach or forest, a drive along the coast, going for a swim or working in the garden.

I don’t think it was a tradition in India, Ireland or China for the husband to help rear the children.  That task was left to the women.  My husband is one of a kind.  He has modelled a different tradition for his sons.

I often reminded myself of the Psalm 121 when I got weary.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. (‭Psalm‬ ‭121‬:‭1-2‬ NIV)

God gave us our children and he is committed to help us look after them.

Family Friday. Our Slovakian Grandchildren Come to Visit.

Posted in Canada, Cancer, Family Friday, Ireland, My thoughts, Nature, Prayer, Slovakia, Travel by

 

I arrived home from Iceland last Friday.  Our son John, Rachel and their boys were waiting for us.  They had prepared dinner.  It was delightful to see the children and their joy at seeing grand Dad and grand Ma.  The boys ran about the kitchen excited to see us.  I could see they had grown in a week.  Joseph said Hello Granny.  He has four grannies, two of them being great grannies.  It is amazing he doesn’t get us mixed up.

John and Rachel wanted to hear what adventures we had while away.  When Brendan came home for trips to other countries me and my children were eager to hear his stories about what he saw and how God used him to help others.  Now Brendan is taking me with him on his adventures.

This week I will see my grandchildren who live in other nations.  My son Aaron and his family are visiting from Slovakia.

imageAaron and Marta have three children. They call our home the Ireland house.  They arrived yesterday.  The children were amazed as we walked from room to room and eventually got to the bedroom where the two girls will stay.  Once again the corridors are full of the sound of little children playing.  Our home is ideal for them to play hide and seek.  A little child can squeeze into a small space, under a coffee table, or in a kitchen cupboard.

Children have a disposition to explore and try out new things.  They can easily occupy themselves, chasing each other outside, climbing walls, trees or making mud castles.  Us adults often instill fear into our child, afraid little Johnny may fall and break a bone, afraid of the child climbing the stairs, “Don’t do that?”

When I was young my brothers and sisters played games or went for walks to give our mother space.  We did not have computer games, television, dolls, Mexicano, Lego, iPads or DVDs.  I loved going for walks through the fields to find out what was over the hill at the back of our home in the country.  I loved paddling in the stream that separated my dad’s field from his neighbour’s, on hot days.

Mummy was busy in the kitchen making a meal for us all, or feeding the new baby that had arrived.  We would return home when we were hungry.  None of us got lost or injured.  If we scaped a knee we would give it a rub and continue playing.  We didn’t visit the accident and emergency at the hospital.

I remember having a cut on my forearm.  I was not rushed off to the doctor’s surgery.  I walked around protecting the injured part and the wound closed over in a week or so.  No penicillin or stitches. In those early days seed of believing that God heals were sown.  If I had a cold I learned after a few days I would be well again.  If I fell off my bicycle and grazed arms and knees, in time the cuts would heal.  God made our bodies with an immune system that fights off infection and replaces cuts and bruises.

I now believe that the simple food our mother made us kept us healthy.  We ate home made bread, soups, stews, porridge, eggs and milk from the farm.  In the summer we would have salads, some fruit or the odd apple tart. The fridge and cupboards were not stacked with cereals, chocolate, coca cola, crisps,  biscuits or sugary snacks.

What I learnt when I was growing up helped me rear my own children.  I did not have a fridge or freezer.  My food was bought fresh and eaten.  I did not keep excess.  There was no eating in between meals.

When my grandchildren arrived I had a pot of soup and homemade bread ready for them.  What I learnt from my mother, I did for my own children and now for my grandchildren.  They will play happily while they are visiting grand Dad’s Irish home.

As we sat at night praying and reading the children’s bible with our own children before they went to bed,  so we will do the same with our grandchildren when they are visiting with us.  We will tell them stories of how God answered prayers for us.  Brendan will tell them about his adventures when he travelled in other countries.  I will tell them that God healed granny from cancer;  how God provided our new home for us with space for them to come and visit and many other examples of God’s goodness to us.

Exodus 10 v 2 says,
You will be able to tell wonderful stories to your children and grandchildren about the marvellous things I am doing, to prove I am The Lord.

Today Brendan and I leave to go to Canada.  We will see our Canadian grandchild.  We will have experiences and new stories will be created to journal and recount at another visit of our children and grandchildren.

Pens and Pencils. https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/pens-and-pencils/

Posted in Family Friday, Ireland, My thoughts by

 

I bought a writing pad and envelopes recently.

These items connect me with

imagethe past when I remember my mother writing a letter to her daughter who had left home.  She had sent many letters to her leaving children after that.  She would have looked out for the postman to see if there was a response to her letters, a longing for a demonstration of love to be returned to her.

I enjoy getting a hand written letter that the postman brings. At a Christmas event my sister gave her siblings hand written letters we had sent to her forty years ago.  They brought back memories, jogged the mind to remember past events, and produced a few tears.

I set the writing pad and envelopes in my writing bureau, knowing I will be inspired to use them, someday.  That “someday” was this morning.  I have just written a hand written letter to my friend, whose phone is not reliable.  And even if it is working she often does not answer it.

Very often an elderly relative appreciates a hand written letter or card.  They are not able to connect with Facebook or e mail, the modern way of communication.

When my children were at home it was difficult to find a pen when one needed it to make a note to buy an item or when my husband needed one.  The pens always circulated into bedrooms and under beds.  No matter how many pens were left in a holder to keep them together, it would have to be refilled often.

Now the pens stay in the overcrowded holder.  My husband would forget the children are not here any longer, and would include a packet of pens in the shopping when they are on offer.  He cannot pass a bargain.

Our first Christmas card this season was from our son Jacob.  It was sealed on the outside with wax.  He wrote down thoughts from the heart to his mum and dad on the beautiful card.  I found out later he had sent a hand written card to each of his family at Christmas time, especially to those who live in other countries.   He is not a fan of Facebook.  I still have his card on the mantle piece of the fireplace.

I bought some of my children fountain pens this Christmas.  I remember using one for all my school work.  The teachers were very careful to make sure we had neat hand writing using an ink filled pen.  Some traditions are returning.

I Asked My Husband to Help Me With the Dishwasher.

Posted in Family Friday, Ireland, My thoughts by

 

Some of my children have been home for Christmas festivities and rest.   The last child left yesterday to go back to St Andrew’s university via the French Alps.  He must be influenced by princes.  Prince Willliam went to St Andrews and skied in the Alps.

When my children lived at home, chores wereimage delegated to each child.  Someone was in charge of the dishwasher, to load it and unload it.  Now Brendan and I are on our own I ask him to help in the kitchen.  I started to unload the cups from the dishwasher yesterday morning.  I noticed thy felt gritty.  They were not properly washed!  I asked Brendan if he would have a look to see why the dishwasher was not functionally properly.

“Is there dishwasher salt?”
“No I don’t have any.”
“There’s bound to be some about.”
I didn’t answer, wondering where am I to find it among all the stuff we still have to sort after our recent house move.

I left Brendan to work away cleaning up the dishwasher.  He removed two arms that spray hot water over the dishes.  The holes in them were blocked, so were not working efficiently.  Brendan removed certain debris, rice, string, glass, a piece of plastic, and other food particles.

He put the parts together again and completed the task.  It took longer than I thought.

When I involve Brendan in the work he does a thorough job.

A husband and father has many skills we as wives and mothers don’t often draw upon.  Very often I do the job myself to save hastle, or my pride says I can do it better.
If the husband brings home the money to provide for the family, he and we may think he has done his job.

How come the children will listen to their father and not the mother?   How come we hide what the children are up to from their father in case dad will be too harsh with them?  A child will respect his father when he is disciplined and it brings peace to the mother.

How come men don’t worry too much?   A man has grace to look after his wife and children.  If I don’t ask for his help he does not get an opportunity to use the grace God has given him.  

How come God made man to have strong, broad shoulders?  It is to carry the responsibilities we as women were never intended to carry?

How come men go off to the pub,  the football match, golf, or find another woman?  Perhaps they see us doing such a good job on our own, going out to work, looking after the children, shopping, cleaning and disciplining  that they feel they are not needed.  They were never asked so they find some other outlet to occupy their time.

Children will follow our example.  If a child sees his father taking a caring role in his family there is more likelihood he will do the same for his family.  If a child sees that the mother takes the caring role, as the father absents himself then that is the model he will follow.

As a wife and mother, cook and carer I busied myself over the years.  I worried, got anxious and prayed.  I often did not ask my husband for help.  Pride and independence prevented me from asking for help.   We grow up in society that tells us we are a failure if you can’t do things yourself.  Independence is offered to us.  You don’t need others. Earn enough money to buy independence and kill yourself in the process and one is left old, lonely and bitter.

I have learnt through my experience of life, through pain and failure that God’s pattern for marriage is the best.   He has the blueprint.  I have learnt to relinquish control.

What do you want, women, for your husbands and children?   Relax, don’t do all the work, ask the husband to help and take his rightful role in the family.  Respect his position that God has given him.  Let him lead.  Let him look after you.  Ultimately God will hold him responsible for how he looked after his family.