I was unsettled in 1986. We had moved into the house in Abbey St with two children. Now we had eight. We were stretching at the seams of the house and the seams of my mind. I so wanted to move to a bigger place. Brendan had planned to buy the house next door to the pastor of the group to which we belonged. The Sheperding movement had encouraged people to live near each other for closer connection. The owner of the house offered it to Brendan could buy it after the house they were building was finished. We put our own house up for sale. Brendan got favour with the building society manager who agreed to give him a mortgage when we needed it for the house we wanted to buy.

Months went past and our house wasn’t selling. Some people came to view it but there was no follow up to buy. I got discouraged and impatient.

When I was expecting my eighth child, my son John, friends were fearful something would happen to me or the child. They had never met anyone with so many children before. People couldn’t comprehend it. They had read stories of people with big families not being able to cope, children being taken into care and separated from parents. Angela’s Ashes gave images of families living in poverty and squalor. I listened to a TV documentary recently where ten children were taken off a Scottish couple who couldn’t rear them. Others around were thinking “Maybe this is enough blessings from the Lord. When God said in his word to increase and multiply he didn’t mean for you to do it all yourself.” I began to be affected by what others thought of me. The spirits of fear and control were stretching out their tentacles to seek access into my life.

John was born safely, the first of “Blessed are the sons within you.” I was healthy and my baby was healthy. Another blessing from the Lord. Then there were eight children. There was space in our hearts for eight children even though our house felt small.

There was an opportunity to go to a woman’s conference entitled “It’s Time to Fly” led by a group from America. It was planned to give encouragement to women to use their spiritual gifts. Some women were prophetic, prayed for others or had pictures and visions to encourage others in their walk with God. I had desires to be used by God through prayer and healing. I went along with two other ladies from our town.

When I talked with other women there they asked me what was my job. I said I’m a mother of eight children. That stopped the conversation. There was no one with as many children as I had. I thought “Maybe God, eight children are enough?” I wanted to be used by God to pray for others to be healed. “Surely this is my time,”I thought. God had spoken through prophets that I would be used by God to pray for healing. This was a desire of my heart. I hoped this was my time to fly.

I returned home with great expectations of being asked to pray for others, using my gift. Surely room would be made for us ladies who returned from the women’s conference fired up to bring revival. It didn’t happen, my wings were clipped and I didn’t fly. I crash landed instead. The speakers at the conference were from America. Perhaps ladies there were free to be used in the culture from which they came. Northern Ireland in the middle of war wasn’t ready for revival using men never mind using women. There was a different atmosphere in N Ireland.

My dreams of being used by God died. A hope deferred makes the heart sick but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Leaves of hope were cut off.

I busied myself looking after my husband and children for the next months. I was there for my children twenty four seven. I discovered I was pregnant. I thought everything would go well with this pregnancy as it did so many times before. I did not want to tell anyone, family or friends I was pregnant. I had enough of people’s fears and attitudes during my last pregnancy. I was afraid of what people would think of me. I was disappointed, frustrated and feeling low already after the women’s conference.

A friend of mine suggested I go along with her to a Get Fit Class for Women in the local leisure centre. I never thought of having time to myself before. “This will get me out of the house, time on my own. I could do with the exercise. There can’t be any harm in that,”I mused. I went along to the Keep Fit Class.

A few days later Brendan was out for a walk with the children. I was too tired to go. I stayed home and went to bed. I had a miscarriage without any warning. I could see my small baby, “her unformed body.” I was in shock, alone and sad while I waited for my family to return. I believe from the time a baby is conceived he is a part of our family, even while still in the womb. I believe what God says in Psalm 139.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my motherʼs womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,

I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭139:13-17‬ ‭NIV‬‬

God knows human biology. When fertilization occurs, and the sperm and the egg exchange DNA and chromosomes, life begins and the baby begins to develop legs, head and internal organs. I could see my baby’s head, arms and legs.

The child belongs to God from the earliest moment his or her life comes into existence – still in the womb growing and maturing each hour, under God’s watchful eye. He sees even if we don’t. God observes our maturation in the womb. In those earliest stages we were no less human or no less a person, even though not fully developed. A person does not become meaningful to God only at birth. Even as life grows during its earliest stages within the mother’s womb, God was there.

We are products of God’s handiwork. He wove us together in our mother’s womb, in the secret place. The womb is hidden – out of the sight of all people, yet not out of God’s sight.

7. Your Eyes Saw My Unformed Body; All the Days Ordained for Me Were Written in Your Book Before One of Them Came to Be.

“…all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” – My baby was about seventy days old.

God created us in his image. We are precious in his sight. If a child is precious to God then he is precious to me and I want to honor that respect for my child even though miscarried.

Brendan took care of me when he returned. He put our unborn child in a box. We gathered together as a family and prayed. We committed our baby to God. Brendan asked God to guide him what to do.

Brendan felt he should name our baby, buy a burial plot. She is part of our family. We will recognise her as such. She is with the Lord. We will see her some day in heaven. As David said about the child he had with Bathsheba died,

“While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether GOD will be gracious to me, that the child may live?
But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me. 2 Samuel 12 v 22 to 23.

The only piece of land we own is a small burial plot in Coleraine cemetery. Brendan, myself and our family gathered on the hill in that cemetery. The grave digger looked on. Brendan prayed again for our child and buried her in the small space the gravedigger had opened up for her. We bowed our heads and walked sadly back to the car, holding hands and comforting each other. Back in the car Brendan turned on the tape machine. It played a song by a couple from New Zealaind and the words were from Psalm 139.

A most powerful demonstration of the power of Jesus is told in the story of the Gedarene man in Mark 5.

And they came over unto the other side of the sea, into the country of the Gadarenes. And when he was come out of the ship, immediately there met him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit, Who had his dwelling among the tombs; and no man could bind him, no, not with chains: Because that he had been often bound with fetters and chains, and the chains had been plucked asunder by him, and the fetters broken in pieces: neither could any man tame him. And always, night and day, he was in the mountains, and in the tombs, crying, and cutting himself with stones. But when he saw Jesus afar off, he ran and worshipped him. For he said unto him, Come out of the man, thou unclean spirit. And he asked him, What is thy name? And he answered, saying, My name is Legion: for we are many. Now there was there nigh unto the mountains a great herd of swine feeding. And all the devils besought him, saying, Send us into the swine, that we may enter into them. And forthwith Jesus gave them leave. And the unclean spirits went out, and entered into the swine: and the herd ran violently down a steep place into the sea, (they were about two thousand;) and were choked in the sea. And they that fed the swine fled, and told it in the city, and in the country. And they went out to see what it was that was done. And they come to Jesus, and see him that was possessed with the devil, and had the legion, sitting, and clothed, and in his right mind: and they were afraid. And they that saw it told them how it befell to him that was possessed with the devil, and also concerning the swine. And they began to pray him to depart out of their coasts. Howbeit Jesus suffered him not, but saith unto him, Go home to thy friends, and tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had compassion on thee. And he departed, and began to publish in Decapolis how great things Jesus had done for him: and all men did marvel.

This man was so used by demons that he couldn’t live a normal life. There was no point trying to make him good. He wasn’t able to. The demons tortured him and he went about mad. No one could bind him. He had been tied up with chains but always broke free. Jesus comes along and with a word delivers him from a legion of demons. He was healed and restored to his right mind. The local people were scared. This man was once wild but was now fully clothed and in his right mind. They knew Jesus was different. He was able to help the man when no one else could.

This story shows the power of Jesus. He gives his followers the power to do the same as He did. Cast out demons and heal the sick in His name.

Jesus followers were with him for a while. They were with him when Jesus delivered the Gedarene man. After this story Jesus sent his disciples out to cast out demons and heal the sick. Jesus demonstrated to them what to do previously as he healed and delivered all people who came to him. In our western world we think that following Jesus is to be good, read your bible, don’t smoke or drink and attend church. We try to be good like Jesus but we are doomed to failure. One never can be good in one’s own strength.

To be a disciple of Jesus is to do what He said. And He called his twelve disciples and sent them out two by two with power to cast out demons.

So the disciples went out telling everyone they met to turn from sin. And they cast out many demons and healed many sick people , anointing them with olive oil. Mark 6 v 7

It wasn’t by their own power, or by their own goodness they were successful. It was by using the name of Jesus. Doesn’t that sound simple enough. Do the works Jesus did, using His name. Seek first God’s kingdom and God will provide all your needs.

Don’t we complicate Jesus gospel. We try to meet our own needs first. Maybe some day we will be holy enough to cast a demon out. And people are not helped or captives set free. We become holy only by believing and obeying Jesus.

It is by the power of the name of Jesus I was delivered from the spirits of rebellion and bitterness. I turned from my sin. Afterwards I was healed from fourth stage cancer. Jesus is the truth. There is no other power can heal cancer completely.

I live on the shores of Strangford Lough in Northern Ireland. It is a nature reserve for wildlife. Many species of birds migrate here.

The Brent geese come here from Northern Canada in September every year. They come in thousands. I heard their call in the distance on the sixth of September while I was out for a walk. I looked up and saw a chevron of Brent Geese making their way towards the Lough. The birds have flown thousands of miles from distance shores to get to these feeding grounds on Strangford Lough.

They look like ducks when they arrive. After feeding all winter on eelgrass they become fat. By May they look like geese as they waddle on the banks of a drinking stream . They have strengthened themselves for the return journey to have their young in Canada. I am filled with wonder as I consider the rhythm of their lives. They stay together feeding and flying. There is safety in numbers. They go for miles to find safe places to feed and return to Canada where there are no enemies, to rear their young.

Swallows arrive here in May. They return to nests they have occupied year after year in our barn. They spend the next months feeding their young, flying back and forth from the nest ten thousand times catching insects. Sometimes I have to frighten away starlings that sit on the top of the barn waiting to rob the swallow’s young from the nest below. After one batch of young are reared the adult birds start over again and rear another nest of young. They keep feeding young till September comes. They gather on the local electric wires with their young and fly off to Africa to spend the winter.

Terns arrive in April to a small island off Strangford. Hundreds of them nest and rear their young. Their familiar noisy screeching call welcomes the visitor to the Strangford ferry, which connects with Portaferry on the other side of the Lough. Even though the island is only a few yards from the shore the terns are safe. No one is allowed to go to the island to disturb the nesting birds.

The words of God tells me from Jeremiah to look for the ancient pathways to find rest for my soul and to learn from the birds of the air.

“This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’”
‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭6:16‬ ‭NLT‬‬
“Even the stork that flies across the sky knows the time of her migration, as do the turtledove, the swallow, and the crane. They all return at the proper time each year. But not my people! They do not know the Lord’s laws.”
‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭8:7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Jesus said to look at he birds. I am learning from the birds. These small creatures do gigantic feats; they travel thousands of miles from here to another continent on the wing. They arrive at he right time and leave at the right time. It is so important to them to be in a safe place and where there is provision to rear their young. I look at just a few of the species of birds in my area that follow ancient pathways for generations.

God our Father who is the Lord of all creation, who made the heavens and the earth has given us guidelines though His Word how to live. Through reading His Word for many years God has guided me in my life. If one is willing to seek first the Kingdom of God, to seek God, submit to God, you will find rest for your soul. I have looked for the ancient pathways to find rest for my soul.

God has been faithful to lead me to a town during the war in Northern Ireland where it was safe to rear my children. After the troubles He led our family to another town where there were schools and clubs suitable for my growing teenage family. He has led my husband and I to a quiet place beside still waters after all our children have flown the nest. We have found rear for our souls here.

The shores of Strangford Lough are dotted with ancient ruins of monasteries and Christian settlements. St Patrick is believed to have come by boat to this area and sailed up The River Quoile. It is said a local landowner gave him a barn to start his Christian work among the people of Ireland. The rivers and Lough would have been full of fish giving provision to the visitors. Perhaps we are living on the land where some of these ancient settlers lived.

It certainly is a spectacular area to live. The full harvest moon rose high in the sky soon after the sun set in the west, a few nights ago. A vista of pale orange, yellow, grey and blue outlined the hills and valleys of Co Down. Our soul is continuing to be healed.

I thoroughly recommend you dear reader to seek God with all your heart and you will find him. I sought the Lord and he answered me and has been faithful to guide me all these forty odd years. I have just finished a book about how God has helped me in my life. It will be published soon. Please contact me if you would like a copy.

There has been much concern throughout the nations since the discovery of the Corona virus in China some weeks ago. China authorities are stopping the movement of people in areas where Corona Virus has hit. This means much hardship for the people of China. And no one knows how long this will last. Some factories in China have shut down. Goods that are produced in China for cars and large machinery are not available, so there is a knock on economic effect on factories in the west.
Even in Northern Ireland our Hotel industry has been hit because of cancellations of Chinese customers. When the Chinese tourists come here they are big spenders and like to visit all our tourist sites.
The news of the spread of the Corona Virus can instill much fear in people’s lives throughout the nations. Will there be medication to help overcome?
I am not a medic but I have good news for anyone who is fearful of this virus or any other disease. God who created the heavens and the earth revealed himself as Jehovah Rapha, the healer to Moses in Exodus 15 v 26.
Again in Psalm 103 God tells us he is the one who forgives all our sins and heals all our diseases.
I have experienced the power of God to forgive all my sins and heal me from my diseases. I believe in God our Father who made the heavens and the earth. He was revealed to mankind through his son Jesus who lived in Israel 2000 years ago. Jesus had compassion on the crowds who came to him and he was known for healing all the people who came to him.
Isiah 53 foretells the coming of Jesus and what he would do. “He was bruised for our transgressions and crushed for our iniquity and by his stripes we are healed.” Jesus dies on the cross and shed his blood for our healing. Believe and receive from Jesus, like I did.
I decided to trust God as my healer when I was young girl of nine years old. I had Rheumatic fever, a rare disease nowadays. But it left me with a damaged heart. The doctors said I would only be strong enough to have one child. God gave me the strength to have fourteen children.
I had fourth stage cancer in 2010. God totally healed me and it has not returned. Today is the day to trust God Rapha, your healer. Ask the Father God in Jesus name to heal you of any disease, brokenness or trouble. Jesus is alive by his Spirit to answer your prayers today.
You may have tried many other remedies to heal you and have spent much money to do so. There is a story in the bible of a woman who had an issue of blood. He had spent all her money on physicians but was not healed. She joined a crowd that was following Jesus. He pushed through the people to get to touch even his garment. When she did so she was healed. She had faith that Jesus would heal her.
Have you went through treatments, remedies, and taken people’s advice but are still not healed? I want to introduce you to Jesus who takes away your sin and sicknesses. Please ask him to reveal himself to you and ask him to heal you. I know God is Jehovah Rapha, my healer. He is there to heal you too. He does not charge you money.