Author Archives: Prayingangela

The Unknown God

Posted in Cancer, Healing, My thoughts by

Many people are not sure if there is a God.  There is a story in a book called the bible, about a man called Paul who was a follower of Jesus.  He was in Athens, where he found an altar to The Unknown God.  I quote,

So Paul, standing before the council, addressed them as follows: “Men of Athens, I notice that you are very religious in every way, for as I was walking along I saw your many shrines. And one of your altars had this inscription on it: ‘To an Unknown God.’ This God, whom you worship without knowing, is the one I’m telling you about.
“He is the God who made the world and everything in it.
Since he is Lord of heaven and earth, he doesn’t live in man-made temples, and human hands can’t serve his needs—for he has no needs.
He himself gives life and breath to everything, and he satisfies every need.
From one man he created all the nations throughout the whole earth.
He decided beforehand when they should rise and fall, and he determined their boundaries.
His purpose was for the nations to seek after God and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him—though he is not far from any one of us.
For in him we live and move and exist.  “God overlooked people’s ignorance about these things in earlier times, but now he commands everyone everywhere to repent of their sins and turn to him. For he has set a day for judging the world with justice by the man he has appointed, and he proved to everyone who this is by raising him from the dead.” (‭Acts of the Apostles‬ ‭17‬:‭22-31‬ NLT)

The one whom he raised from the dead is Jesus.  He came and lived on the earth for three years and went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the Devil.  God spoke out of the cloud his love and approval of his son Jesus.

While he was still speaking, a bright cloud covered them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!” (‭Matthew‬ ‭17‬:‭5‬ NIV)
No other person has risen from the dead.  No other God is kind and merciful.  No other god claims to lift heavy burdens from people’s back and offer them rest.

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” (‭Matthew‬ ‭11‬:‭28-30‬ NLT)

He gives food to the hungry, he frees prisoners, and opens the eyes of the blind.  Psalm 146 v 7-8

He healed the sick.

And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them, and he healed their sick. (‭Matthew‬ ‭14‬:‭14‬ KJV)

I choose to believe what these words say.  I choose to believe in Jesus.

There are many books written about people who claim to help you if you follow them.

Psalm 146 v 3 says

Don’t put your confidence in powerful people, there is no help for you there.

I was diagnosed of fourth stage bowel cancer in 2010.  “That is a death sentence”, someone said.  I should be dead in the grave.  But I took hope in Jesus’ promise to heal today.  He told his followers to do the same as he did.  He is not a dead god.  He is alive and interested in our lives.  Jesus healed me from all cancer!  I am alive! I pray for others to be healed in Jesus name.

The unknown god that Paul spoke about many centuries ago healed me from cancer in 2010.  His name is Jesus.  Call upon him and you too can be healed.

Family Friday. Grandchildren are the Crown and Glory of the Aged.

Posted in Canada, Family Friday, Holiday, Ireland, Motherhood, My thoughts, Restoration, Travel by

Last Saturday I attended a family event.  About one hundred and fifty people gathered together to celebrate being children, grandchildren and great grandchildren of my mother and father.  My parents are both dead, but we met to honor their memory and their sacrifice to rear us, their ten children.
It was because of their example I had endurance to have fourteen children of my own.  My father was a farmer.  The land produced crops and fed animals.  I remember my father walking across a field scattering corn seed with a fiddle.  He did not have the modern machinery that ploughs up the ground, prepares it for the seed and then sows the seed all in a few days.
He arose early every morning to milk cows, “twenty four seven”.  My mother and father imageshared the work.  Mummy supplemented the income by rearing hens and selling the eggs.  As we their children grew up we helped with the work.  My parents educated all their ten children.
The event last week was a focus for some of my own children to return from far away to join the celebrations.  My son David called me two weeks before to tell me he was thinking of coming over from Canada to be there.  It would be an occasion when he and Jacquelyn could introduce their baby daughter Ava, now eight months to his brothers and sisters and extended family.  I was delighted and encouraged him to come.
God blessed his plans.  He was able to book flights that were affordable even at short notice and within the time frame of days he could get off work.  I met them at Dublin airport.  One year ago exactly Brendan and I stood in Dublin airport and waved goodbye to David and Jacquelyn as they left Ireland to settle in Canada.  They returned to these shores of Ireland last Thursday!  It was a day of joy!  They were with us for five full days.

Baby Ava met and played with her cousins, got nursed and shared around to willing arms to hold her.  David hung out with his brothers and sisters.  Jacquelyn met up with friends.

David and Jacquelyn are adjusting well to being young parents.  They lovingly care for Ava.  .  Last evening I found one of Ava’s bottles.  I shed a few tears.  I was missing David and his family.  I miss Jacquelyn up early in the kitchen preparing bottles of milk for Ava.  I miss my grandchild playing around on the floor.  I miss my son David.
But I have joy in knowing he is starting out in life to look after his own family.
Like my father and my husband he will be an excellent provider and protector for Jacquelyn and Ava.  Brendan and I got to see our grandchild Ava.
Grandchildren are the crown and glory of the aged.  Proverbs 17 v 6
We will see her again.

This Is My Son. Listen to Him.

Posted in My thoughts by

And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations.  Men’s hearts failing them for fear, and for looking after those things which are coming on the earth: for the powers of heaven shall be shaken. (‭Luke‬ ‭21‬:‭25-26‬ KJV)

Jesus spoke these words to his disciples when he was telling them about the end of the world.  He told them to look for the signs.

There were signs and wonders in the sky as we drove out last evening.  We looked up.  In the space of an hour, we saw dark, rain laden clouds, a double rainbow, a full moon and the sun.  We saw dark, imagegrey and purple clouds to our left, then a small rainbow on the horizon, a bright mushroom like cloud, a full moon in front of us and the sun behind us, all in the sky at once.

I was encouraged when a minister was speaking yesterday.  He quoted from the scripture which says,

While he was still speaking, a bright cloud covered them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!” (‭Matthew‬ ‭17‬:‭5‬ NIV)

God spoke out of the cloud, his love and approval of his son Jesus.   He tells us to listen to Jesus.

Today God in heaven, the creator of the clouds, sun and moon is saying “Listen to my son, Jesus.” Read what is recorded about Jesus when he was on the earth in the scriptures.  He is the truth, the way and the life.  Those who are thirsty, come to Jesus, the fountain of life.  He promises to give you water that you will never thirst again, and eternal life. I Praise God that I am alive to see his wonders in the sky last evening.

Testimony Tuesday. Something Broken Made Into Something Beautiful

Posted in My thoughts, Nature, Restoration, Testimony Tuesday by

I have taken up a hobby of making mosaics from broken pieces of glass and pottery.

image

One sunny morning in Springtime I went for a walk along the foreshore.  It is a stony beach.  I noticed pieces of green glass glistening among the pebbles.  They were looking at me inviting me to pick them up.  I picked one up, then another, and another until my pocket was full.  I felt like I was panning for gold in the stones of the shoreline.   Brendan joined me is my treasure hunt and he collected a pocket full too.  We collected other species, shades of blue, white, and brown.

I inspected them all when I returned home.  I asked myself what can I do with these colourful but broken pieces of glass.  The edges weren’t sharp any more and their colours were cloudy from the years of being broken and worn with the sea storms.  They had lost their shine.  Circumstances in life bring troubles, disappointments, lose or rejection leaving one worn down with the storms of life or relegated to the ash heap.

When washed and grim removed, my pieces of glass were ready to be positioned into something beautiful.

As I looked at the different shapes of green pieces I was inspired to make a mosaic of my country, Ireland, which has thirty two counties. I would use a piece of glass for each county.  I found a piece of wood and a tube full of tile filler.  So started my hobby of making mosaics.  I tried out putting other colours of glass together.  I find I relax as I work.

On Saturday I discovered a new site along the shoreline to build up my supply of broken pieces. I added to my collection, pieces of pottery.  I was excited to see how these pieces would clean up.  Some had blue willow patterns, some had plain colours.  How would they fit in to a mosaic?

As I worked I reminded myself how glass is made.  It is made from the common material, sand.  The sand is heated to 1700 degrees. Through the fire sand changes to become glass.  Pottery is made from clay, a common material.  The clay is treated in high temperatures to turn it to pottery.

The Word of God tells us that we were created by God.

Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. (‭Genesis‬ ‭2‬:‭7‬ NIV)

Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. (‭Isaiah‬ ‭64‬:‭8‬ NIV)

Sometimes when I go through difficult times I wonder what is happening to me.  This passage from Peter explains,

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. (‭1 Peter‬ ‭4‬:‭12‬ NIV)

When I go though the fires of difficulty I am being transformed to be a useful vessel for The Lord, like the sand being transformed to glass or the clay to pottery.

The pieces of glass and pottery on the beach are all that remain of useful vessels.  Perhaps the blue glass was a beautiful perfume bottle or the piece of pottery, a treasured piece of willow patterned delph on a bride’s dresser.

But even after many years Our Creator God can reach down and touch all that remains of a broken vessel and make something new.  My mosaics speak to me of hope.  There is life after brokenness.  They can be displayed on a dresser again or adorn a bathroom wall and be a thing of beauty again.  God will restore lives again.

Family Friday. I Take My Children Out For Dinner In An Hotel

Posted in Family Friday, My thoughts, Provision by

My husband’s van had many uses.  One year, the day before St Patrick’s day a group of men came to Brendan and asked him if he would drive them to a St Patrick’s day Festival being held about fifty miles away.  My husband was kind to them and offered to help even though he was due to leave the next day for a trip to America.

He drove fifteen men to the event.  They had a jolly time celebrating with drinks till late.  Brendan was their hero.  The men were very happy to have time out together.  One day in the midst of many boring days. There were no jobs and little money for these men.  They gave Brendan some money for helping them out.

The next morning I helped Brendan get ready for his trip.   I left him to the airport.  He gave me a handful of notes, the money the men had given him the night before.  I was grateful.  I watched as his aeroplane flew high into he clouds.  I would be in charge of  looking after the children for the next two weeks.  After all the stress of the previous days I was tired.  I had no energy left to make dinner for my family when I returned home. 

I decided to take the youngest seven children with me out for dinner.  I had noticed an hotel in Portballintrae had a special evening menu.  We arrived and found a table to sit at in the middle of the busy restaurant.  We each had a three course meal.  My children sat quietly enjoying their food.  Plates were cleared.  No one climbed over chairs, no one was fighting, no one screamed and no one spilt his drink.  People sitting nearby noticed us.  As they left they remarked “You have very well behaved children.”  The money Brendan earned the night before paid for our treat. 

The meek shall eat and be satisfied: they shall praise the Lord that seek him. (‭Psalms‬ ‭22‬:‭26‬ KJV)

There was plenty of work for me ahead on my own while my husband was away.  My meal out gave me a boost for the days that were ahead.  When Brendan returned I told him that I had taken the children out for a meal with the money he gave me.  He was shocked.  He thought I should have spent the money more wisely.  No, our time out together being served a three course meal was worth double the money.

Testimony Tuesday. Call In The Experts.

Posted in Cancer, Healing, My thoughts, Prayer, Testimony Tuesday by

If one is in any kind of trouble he wants someone who can help.  If your car breaks down you call a mechanic.  If you have a burst pipe in the house you call an expert, the plumber.  If the electric wires are not working you call an electrician.  You don’t call a plumber to fix the electrics.  If you need a house built you call a builder.  If you need to sell your house you call someone who can market your house.  If you need legal advice you call a lawyer.

If one’s body is the trouble he calls the doctor.  The doctors can help by diagnosing his disease.  He will give his professional advice and prescribe drugs or advise surgery if necessary. It is marvellous the advances in medical care in the 21st century in the west and we get to benefit from it.

I discovered in my research, that people who have cancer in Russia do not have the expertise we can avail of here in the United Kingdom. What can they do?

God gives experts in the Church who have different gifts to help the people.  Some people have the gift of healing.  So if one is sick call the experts in healing.  Call those who believe in God, who know how to pray, and help spiritually to bring healing to the mind and body.

Call people who believe God answers prayer, people who believe that God heals.  People who already have experienced healing.  One wants to be around those who have faith and who love and help one through the days of loneliness, fear, and sickness.

For one day I had the symptoms of sickness and wretching, side effects from having treatment from chemotherapy and radiotherapy.  Wretching alone made me feel weak and fearful.  My body and mind could not take any more pain.  I passed out.  During that morning two people rang me.  One lady felt The Lord prompted her to ring me and pray for me.  

Knowing God alerted someone who knew how to pray comforted me.  She prayed for me and she brought me peace.  My niece rang me and said God told her to ring me and pray for me.  He told her to remind me it was God who taught me to pray.  Again I was overwhelmed with God’s love for me.  He sent help.  I am so thankful God preserved me from pain, burning and sickness.  

Fear of death can overwhelm the cancer sufferer.  It can leave one with no courage to fight.  So one lies down under the sickness and loses the will to live.  I had been bleeding for three years from my colon but I thought it would go away.  I thought the blood could be coming from heamoroids or colitis.  I believed that God can heal and have prayed for others who have been healed.  At no time did I think of cancer.

I eventually came to realise my condition was not improving, but getting worse, I told my husband.  I needed others to help me.  We went to the hospital.  The doctor examined me and referred me on to the oncology specialist.  It seemed I had cancer.  I was numb and was relieved that my condition was discovered.  I now knew the truth.  I was too weak to care.  I had no fight left.  I was not in control any more.  I was now dependant on the help of experts, the doctors to diagnose the condition and those who believe that God heals.

The news hit my husband and children hard.  They were sad but not hopeless or overwhelmed.  They loved Mum and didn’t want me to die.  They believed God would come to our aid in my time of despair.  They gathered around me the first night and prayed for my healing.  My family arose as an army to fight fear, cancer and death.  The war was on.  

We were in a spiritual battle.  When someone comes into your house to steal your property will you stand by and let them steal it?   No you will put up a fight to put the robber out or call the police for help.  So it was with my family.  The devil was bringing cancer and death to their mum to steal her away from them.  They believed God and spoke God’s promise over my life that I shall not die and by the stripes of Jesus I am healed

Scriptures say the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (‭John‬ ‭10‬:‭10‬ NIV)

Jesus was referring to the evil one,  the Devil who comes to kill.   The Devil is a spiritual being and one cannot fight him physically.  But we can fight him and defeat him with Gods spiritual weapons of war.  Jesus came on earth to destroy the works of the Devil.  He preached the gospel of the Kingdom of God, for people to turn to God away from sin and He would forgive their sins and heal their diseases.  He died on the cross and shed his Blood.  If we accept his sacrifice we will be healed.  By his stripes we are healed.  

The weapons to defeat Satan are faith in God, speaking out the Name of Jesus, and saying the Blood of Jesus is against you Satan and walking in peace, forgiving others as Jesus has forgiven us our sins.

If I am in trouble I want to call someone who knows how to pray to God and get results.  I needed prayer warriors who were not afraid of the enemy and had the right weapons and armour to win the battle.  As news of my trouble spread people prayed for me.

After my family prayed for me, the bleeding stopped within a week.  The battle was on and my family was winning.  The healing from Cancer began.  

God promises to be with us in trouble.

“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. (‭Psalm‬ ‭91‬:‭14-15‬ NIV)

Jesus Cried Out, ” If You Are Thirsty Come To Me.”

Posted in Cancer, Dreams, Healing, My thoughts, Restoration by

Next Sunday is Pentecost Sunday, celebrated by Christians all over the world.  We remember when the Holy Spirit fell on the disciples in the upper room, in the form of tongues.  The Holy Spirit gave them power to go out into the streets to speak boldly about Jesus being the Messiah who had been crucified only days before.  The Holy Spirit  is the Living Water that I am referring to in the following passages.

Isaiah says 
“Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! 
Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. 
Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good. (‭Isaiah‬ ‭55‬:‭1-2‬ NIV)

I believed this word in the bible.  I came to Jesus without money and without hope and he has provided for me down through the years.

In Jeremiah 17 The Lord is referred as “The Living water.”

Lord, you are the hope of Israel; all who forsake you will be put to shame. Those who turn away from you will be written in the dust because they have forsaken the Lord, the spring of living water.

When Jesus was nearing the time when he was going to leave this earth, he spoke these words.

On the last day, the climax of the festival, Jesus stood and shouted to the crowds,
“Anyone who is thirsty may come to me! Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.’” (When he said “living water,” he was speaking of the Spirit, who would be given to everyone believing in him. (John 7:37-39 NLT)

Jesus, when he was talking to the woman at the well said,
People soon become thirsty again after drinking this water ( from the well).
But the water I give them takes away thirst all together. It becomes a perpetual spring within them giving them eternal life. (John 4 v 13, 14.)

Jesus is still appealing to us loudly, “Come to me to receive living water and you will not thirst again.”  

In my Spirit I want to shout out, Come to Jesus and receive the Holy Spirit.  He will lead you into all truth.  I went to church today.  The numbers of people there are dwindling.  They don’t know that Jesus can give them refreshing.  He is alive.

It is by the power of the Holy Spirit I am rearing fourteen children.  It is by the power of the Holy Spirit I am healed of Malignant Cancer.  It is by this power lives are changed and people get second, third and even more chances.  It is by the power of the Holy Spirit my children have been saved from danger.

Many people know what it is like to be drunk with beer or wine. They know the joy the drink gives. Their worries are forgotten and they feel free. They love their friends and the world looks happy. But next day where are the friends? Who can help with the hangover? Do I remember what I said or did last night. Fear and dread come in. The next weekend a friend rings and invites one out for another drink. One is thirsty again. The same cycle occurs. I have been there, done that.

Jesus gives us The Holy Spirit. We will not be thirsty again. No guilt, no regret, no hangover, no damage done, no death to relationships, no lies to cover up. Jesus is the Living water. He brings life, healing, forgiveness, no hangover, good friends who build you up, restores love and relationships.

Jesus cried out “Come to Me”. Let THE PERPETUAL SPRING flow out of your heart today. The joy of The Lord will return to replace the sorrow, sadness and sighing. That living water is within all of you.  Let there be water on your tongue instead of ashes.

The gift of tongues is to build you up, and who doesn’t need built up. Pray in the Holy Spirit at all times and you will not thirst again.

The locust has eaten enough years. The Lord is pouring his spirit out on all flesh. Flow again. Don’t be robbed of any more years.  In Joel, God promises to pour out his spirit on all flesh.  

“And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. 
Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions. (‭Joel‬ ‭2‬:‭28‬ NIV)
God promises to touch every generation.  He is moving in the next generation right now.

Family Friday. Good Food Helps the Body Keep Healthy

Posted in Cancer, Dreams, Healing, My thoughts by

I remember having the flu.  I was weak lying in bed. A Swiss friend made me some soup.  It was the most fresh soup I had ever tasted. It helped me feel better. I wanted to get her recipe.  I call this soup “Healing soup.”

She said it was quite simple.  Onions, carrots, celery, leek and parsnips chopped and fried in a big saucepan.  A stock cube of Knorr is added in water to the mix and left to simmer for a while till the vegetables are soft.  That didn’t sound too complicated.   The ingredients weren’t expensive either.  After that I made this soup regularly for my family, especially if anyone wasn’t feeling well.  They all loved it too.  

When I was suffering from cancer and undergoing chemo-radiotherapy I wanted someone to make me the healing soup.  I imagined the smell and greeness of the fresh vegetables.  I grew leeks, celery and parsley in my herb garden.   I often used them.  My son made me the soup.  

I read that some people with cancer believe their diet is important.  If one has cancer the ph of his body fluids are usually acidic.  In a healthy person the ph is over 5 on a scale of 0 to 10.  Under 5 is acidic.  One’s immune system fights infections and keeps one’s body healthy and works well in ph over 5. If one wants to help the immune system operate better, one should eat food that will boost the ph value.   All the ingredients in the healing soup have a high ph value.  That is why I felt better after having it.  Continuing on a diet of foods that are alkaline can strengthen the body to fight the cancer, I believe.  

Recently when I was in Slovakia, someone told me about a dream he had.  In the dream he saw a lady making soup.  She prepared vegetables and went on to make a soup.  The vegetables were the same as the ones I used.  So the dream was showing him that this food is good to eat.  

In a dream I had,  I was mixing a stew.  It was made from meat and vegetables.  I saw an extra ingredient in the soup. It looked like yellow strands through the mix.  A voice said to me in my dream “The extra ingredient is stands of love you have put in as you prepare the stew.”  I believe God is interested in what we eat and he can show us what is good for us.

I believe a healthy diet helped keep my children from being sick.  I did not use sugar, fizzy drinks, sweet goods or processed foods.  I made soups, stews, homemade wheaten bread often.  Love also kept them healthy.

Testimony Tuesday. My Consultant Didn’t Want Me to have more Children.

Posted in Family Friday, Motherhood, My thoughts, Testimony Tuesday by

When I was expecting my eleventh child I attended my consultant for a routine check up.  After blood pressure was checked, temperature taken and weight checked he wanted to talk to me.  He went on to tell me there was a risk my baby could be born with a disability because I was now forty years old.  I refused to listen to him even though he was a respected consultant.  Many women spent lots of money to go privately and get his help at the their births.  I told him I believed in God and God would look after me and my baby.   If I had  shown any fear he would have offered me an abortion.  I changed doctors.  I found a Cathoilc lady doctor who didn’t judge me for having more children.

When I delivered my son Jacob another doctor suggested to me not to have any more children.  He said, “Your body is like a car, it will break down.”  I quickly responded, “No Doctor, God will renew my strength.  I went on to have three more children.  I was in my forties.  I didn’t always listen to the doctor.

My husband said every time I went into labour it was like having a revival meeting.  I would be calling on Jesus when I had a labour pain.  Having my son Aaron was the most memorable time for Brendan.  When I started in labour with Aaron we walked to the maternity home that was near where I lived.  It was like a home from home.  The midwives looked after the mothers.  The GP doctor would be in attendance when the baby was due to be born.   I was in labour all night.  The night nurses stayed on in the morning to see my baby born.  The night nurses and the new shift of nurses were all around my bed.  The doctor was in the background waiting.  The pains were getting intense.  The nurse asked me to lift up my leg.  I said “lift up The Lord “.  Everyone was embarressed.  Aaron was born to the sound of “Praise The Lord”.  He was a bouncy baby boy weighing in at ten pounds ten ounces.  Mother and baby were all well.  Brendan went home to get a rest.

Two people who worked in the Maternity Home became pregnant after my visit there.  One lady was a carer and another was a midwife. They were telling me when I returned to have my next child.

My consultant wasn’t the only one who wasn’t happy with me having many children.  Another doctor said on his notes “This unfortunate woman is pregnant again”.  That was when I was expecting Ruth, my seventh child!  Friends and family were fearful for me.  Thay thought something would happen to me if I continued having children.   I became afraid of what others thought.  I became pregnant with my eighth child.  I was afraid to tell anyone I was pregnant again.

Well meaning friends invited me out for coffee or to the gym.  They thought it would be good for me to get out for a time away from work at home with children.  I attended exercise classes with a friend.  I had never been to the gym before.   I still didn’t tell anyone I was pregnant.  At twelve weeks I had a miscarriage.  I lost my baby.  I could see the little human being of twelve weeks.  Brendan and I were sad.  Brendan took the  small baby and put it in a box.  He asked The Lord what to do.  The Lord told him to buy a grave and bury our child and to give our baby a name.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. (‭Psalm‬ ‭139‬:‭13, 16‬ NIV)

Brendan bought a burial plot in the cemetery.  He took all of us there to bury our child.  All of our family gathered around as Brendan put the box in the soil.  We prayed a prayer , cried a little and went back to the car.  Brendan put the tape recorder on in the car.  It played a song by a New Zealand couple with the words in it, “All the days ordained for me were written in your book.”  We were all comforted by these words.  Our baby lived twelve weeks but God knew every day ordained for her.   My husband had a dream some time later.  God showed him our baby was a little girl and he called her Deirdre.  She was with The Lord in heaven.  I hope this is a comfort to other mothers who have had a miscarriage  or have had an abortion.  God is taking care for the little ones.  I will see my daughter in heaven. Like David when his son with Bathsheba died he said,

He answered, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, ‘Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.’ But now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.” (‭2 Samuel‬ ‭12‬:‭22-23‬ NIV)

After loosing my baby I told God I was very sorry for being fearful of what others thought of me being pregnant.  I told him I was sorry for going to the gym, which may have endangered my unborn baby. I realised that God is the author of life.  It was not within my own power to save my baby.  I had become blaze.  I was always healthy and my babies were healthy.  I determined never to be afraid of what others thought of me having children.  I was delivered from the fear of man. Doctors, friends and family can give advice,  but I want to obey God first.  He is my creator and helper.  I honor him.

David and Bathsheba had another son after their child died.  I became pregnant again and had my son Patrick.