There is Life after Cancer!

People coming to my blog site for the first time may wonder why I am telling stories about my family, food, garden, my holidays, birds, scenery, and not All about cancer.  I looked at my list of topics I write about and cancer isn’t even in the top ten.

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I thank God that he is faithful to help me as I have faith that he exists.  I do not have cancer in my body.  He is a living God who answers my prayers.  The power of the death grip that cancer had on my body has been broken by the power of the blood of Jesus.  Jesus died 2000 years ago but his sacrifice is effective today to heal me.  Jesus, when he was on earth healed ALL who came to him for healing, no matter what their condition.

There is no other person or spirit that can claim to heal or deliver and give abundant life.  Other spirits can heal but give you some other curse.  There is no other God that can forgive, love, bless, heal and deliver and give a new start in life and do all this for free.  Many people seek other remedies or therapies for healing of mind and body.  They will be out a lot of money, like the woman who came to Jesus.  She had spent all her resources to get healed to no avail.  One touch of Jesus garment brought her complete healing from an issue of blood for twelve years.

I now tell stories about how my life is being restored.  I am not just healed of cancer, I have new life experiences happening all around me.  My eyes are opened to see all the life around me, in my garden, in nature, in new grandchildren and in restored relationships.  If I was in the grave I could not write or tell of the wonderful things that are happening to me.  The grave cannot praise God.  I am alive to give thanksgiving and glory to God.  I now live for God.  The old Angela is dead but my new life is hid with Christ in God.  I no longer live but Christ lives in me.

English was not my favourite subject at school.  I had no desire to read books.  I know others who love books and can’t get enough time to read them.  My husband and I wrote a book about being healed from Cancer, Staying Alive.  Brendan has been writing for many years.  My book was the fourth book he has published.  I have learnt much from his wisdom.  I gleen from his hard earned experience.

I am surprising myself when I write a blog on the internet that is going out to the nations.  Psalm 71 says,

I will tell everyone about your righteousness. All day long I will proclaim your saving power, though I am not skilled with words. (‭Psalms‬ ‭71‬:‭15‬ NLT)

The Word of God gives us a wonderful promise.  Jesus came to give us life and life abundantly.  He says,

The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life. (‭John‬ ‭10‬:‭10‬ NLT).

The work of the devil is to steal, kill and destroy in people’s life.  He comes to steal our health through sickness and tragedy.  He is the thief Jesus speaks about.  Jesus defeated Satan when He shed his Blood on the Cross.

Jesus promise is true for me.  I am living a rich and satisfying life.  I do not have much money.  But who could pay a mother pheasant and her five chicks to walk across my lawn?  Can I pay for the sun to rise every day and give me light and warmth?  Can I pay for forgiveness of my sins and healing for my disease?  Can I pay for my son to catch fish for supper?  Do I pay for the produce that grows in my garden?

When I believe in God the Creator, and his son Jesus he gives me so much in return.  As I have faith in God he is faithful to help me when I need him.  He promises to be with me in trouble and deliver me out of it.  He will not forsake me now when I have grey hair.  I can highly recommend you my reader, no matter what age you are, to have faith in God Almighty, creator of the heaven and the earth.

O God, you have taught me from my earliest childhood, and I constantly tell others about the wonderful things you do. Now that I am old and grey, do not abandon me, O God. Let me proclaim your power to this new generation, your mighty miracles to all who come after me. (‭Psalms‬ ‭71‬:‭17-18‬ NLT)

Young people may wonder “What is the point in my believing in God and obeying his commands?  I am young, healthy, strong, I have money, a good job, everything looks rosy.”  The prodigal son went off to see the world.  After many years when things didn’t work out he needed help.  I was like that.  I turned to God for help in my distress when I was twenty eight.  I tried to follow his ways since then.  When I was nearing death God was faithful to help me.  So the years of following God have not been in vain.  It is true God has not abandoned me now I am old and grey.

I am alive to enjoy the goodness of God in the land of the living.  Bring on the coffee and cake!

Sun, Sea and Sand in Zakynthos

The sun sets over the hill to the west on the last evening of our holiday in Zakynthos.  Shadows are cast along the shore as the sun beds are folded away and umbrellas are pulled down.  Footprints in the soft sand are a sign of the many people that have passed this way today.

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The cool of the evening is very welcome after a hot day.  I believe anyone coming to this beach will leave rested, healed, beautified, blessed, rejuvenated, refreshed and restored.

He leads me beside still waters to restore my soul.  I thank God I am alive to enjoy the goodness of God in the land of the Living.

He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.   (‭Psalm‬ ‭23‬:‭2-3‬ NIV)

I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. (‭Psalms‬ ‭27‬:‭13‬ KJV)

We have met people from different nationalities, German, Russian, English, Greek, and Austrian.  We have met young and old, from the babies and toddlers to the two eighty something year old couples that were our neighbors at the poolside.  We could not communicate but we all were enjoying the warmth of the sun on our bodies in the silence.

A swim in the sea is welcome to cool our bodies.  It is no effort to swim in the salty, still, shallow waters.  The young and not so young, able bodied and not so able bodied, buxom and slim alike, bodies modestly covered and others less well covered take a dip.

This is a favorite beach not only for sunbathers but also for Turtles.  The females lay their eggs high up on the beach in May and the young hatch out in October.

Earlier today our friend brought us to a faviourite restaurant, high above the town of Zakynthos.  We enjoyed the glorious view, the red roofed houses below, and the blue bay shimmering in the sunshine beyond.  A Ferryboat from the Greek mainland announces it’s arrival into the harbor with a loud horn blast.  We watch it dock.  Other boats are dwarfed by this new Ferry.

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For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord as the waters cover the sea. (‭Habakkuk‬ ‭2‬:‭14‬ NIV)

We return from this haven to the hear of the turmoil in the nations.  A new Labour leader has been elected and some countries of Europe close their borders to Immigrants.

I will keep looking to Jesus, like Peter in the storm.  He could walk on the water as long as he fixed his eyes on Jesus.

“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. (‭Matthew‬ ‭14‬:‭28-29‬ NIV)

It’s Harvest Time

imageimageimageTo every thing there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven.  A time to plant and a time to reap.  Ecclesiastes 3 v 1 and 2
What a joy to see the results of sowing seeds, seedlings, corms or bulbs in the soil.
The farmer planted seeds of wheat nearly a year ago and he now harvested the golden crop that has grown up.
My husband enjoys flowers.  He planted one of my favourite flowers in early spring, Gladiolii.  Green shoots have been growing all summer until now when we have a array of Beauty reaching up to the sky.
I planted a courgette seedling.  Look what it produced.
My son went fishing last evening.  Here is the harvest of his labour.
We are eating the harvest of fish from the sea and plants from my garden.  We delight in the richness of colour in our garden.
God has made everything beautiful for its own time.  Ecclesiastes 3 v 11

Pheasants Come to Visit.

I was sitting by my bedroom window with my feet up taking a few moments to praise and thank God for the beauty all around.  I have been writing about birds in some of my posts.  I am learning from them each time because Jesus says “Look at the birds.”

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I was pleasantly surprised when some movement at the side of the lawn caught my eye. I watched as a mother pheasant followed by five young, walked along the side of the garden.  There is dead, brown vegetation as well as green grass there.  The five chicks spread out looking for seeds in the mixture of vegetation on the verge of the lawn.  In the photo I hope you can see the hen on the look out, a chick to the left under a bush and another to the right.  One, with coloured feathers like a necklace, ventured further than the others.  He must be a young male.  His coloured feathers were beginning to show.

I enjoyed the scene before me for some minutes.  I wanted a closer look.  I got my binoculars.  The hen stopped, relaxed and began to preen her feathers.   She stretched her wings, ruffled her feathers and scratched.  I could see the pattern on her feathers as she picked through them.  Her overall colour blended well into the background of brown vegetation.  Her chicks investigated the foliage around her.  They had no fear, as their mum was close by.

A farmer is harvesting his crop of wheat over the fence from where we live today.  Beyond the field is a forest.  They must have been disoriented today because of the noise of the farm machinery.  The wheat would be their convenient supply of food.  It is harvested today. They will have to search for seeds left on the ground.

It is true what Jesus said.

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? (‭Matthew‬ ‭6‬:‭26-27‬ NIV)

God had supplied a whole field of wheat for this family.  I can see the pheasant family are well cared for, how much more will God care for me and my family.  We are more important than the birds of the air.

What are the main things people worry about: health, lack of money, how to look after their children, what to eat, being alone, where to live.  Have faith in God, who promises if we seek him first he will add all things unto us.  I can testify to God’s provision for food, houses, and health for my family of fourteen children.

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (‭Matthew‬ ‭6‬:‭31, 33‬ NIV)

I was pleasantly surprised to see this family of pheasants cross my lawn in the early morning after we returned from holiday.  I watched as they jumped up onto the bank to the left and head back to their nest for a rest after their morning forage.  I will see them again.

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Update, Sunday 20th September, saw family in orchard garden in the afternoon.

Saturday 26th morning at dawn family flew from neighbours garden into ours.  They played about for a while.

I Began to Fear Growing Old.

I was reading a list of recommendations given by Pat Devilly a popular fitness trainer from Galway, on his post.  A line on the list reads,

“Spend time with people over seventy and under the age of six.”

Having reared fourteen children, I have spent much time with children.  I have to admit I have not spent much time with older people over the years.

After reading this Blog by Pat Devilly, I decided to pay a visit to an elderly friend.  Ten years ago she had two knee replacements.  She was very brave and recovered well.  Every night her sleep is disturbed by night sweats.  She has to change her night dress through the night.  I thought “Poor lady, she has to endure this hardship.”  I was humbled to hear about her difficulties but she continues enduring without complaint.
I began to fear growing old and with it failing health.

I was reading on Facebook recipes for being forever young.  Drink plenty of water, eat vegetables, don’t take sugar or processed foods, go for walks, garden, lose weight.  The list goes on and on.  I realized I would become exhausted trying to be forever young and eating lettuce to avoid pains and aches that many older people suffer.

I began to drink more water and my whole system reacted to the excess fluid.  I wasn’t well for days!  I tried to diet but failed miserably.  I try to go for a walk but other demands come first.  The weeds are flourishing in my garden!  The dreams of cooking wonderful dishes with the herbs from my garden has not materialized.

I decided to stop reading such articles on Facebook, I stopped drinking excess water, I eat when I’m hungry and don’t starve myself.  I will go for a walk when I desire, not because I should.  I will go back to gardening when I have the strength.  I will continue to wear the dress size I need to and not try to fit into a smaller size.  My body and mind were getting stressed with the fear.

I reminded myself of the scripture fromPsalm 91
“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;  He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.” (‭Psalm‬ ‭91‬:‭14-16‬ NIV)

God promises me a long life.  If I have any sickness, pain or any other trouble in the future God promises to deliver me from each one.  As for me I will enjoy my life each day and not live in fear.  God has delivered me from death by healing me from cancer.  He will continue to help me.

Testimony Tuesday. My Experience of How Nature Restores My Mind.

I was reading and article on the internet, from the New York Times, written by Gretchen Reynolds.  It is entitled “How Walking in Nature Changes the Brain.”  I will quote some of the article,

“A walk in the park may soothe the mind and, in the process, change the workings of our brains in ways that improve our mental health, according to an interesting new study of the physical effects on the brain of visiting nature.

City dwellers also have a higher risk for anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses than people living outside urban centers, studies show.

Volunteers who had strolled along the quiet, tree-lined paths showed slight but meaningful improvements in their mental health, according to their scores on a questionnaire. They were not dwelling on the negative aspects of their lives as much as they had been before the walk.  They were allowed to walk at their own pace.  As might have been expected, walking along the highway had not soothed people’s minds.

Most of us today live in cities and spend far less time outside in green, natural spaces than people did several generations ago.”

Thank you Gretchen Reynolds for this article.  I agree with this article.

In Psalm 23 I read,

The LORD is my shepherd; I have all that I need.

He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful waters.  (‭Psalms‬ ‭23‬:‭1-2‬ NLT)

I lived in a town house when our children were small.  I grew up in the country and I longed to live again in the country.  I dreamed of my children putting on their Wellington boots and going out to play in nature in all kinds of weather, as I did when I was growing up.

Being in the town had more benefits for our family at that stage.  The schools, post office, shops, library, swimming pool, dentist, medical centre and friends lived nearby.  Driving my children to school, or to the shops would have added stress to our already busy lives.  I was at peace and realised living in the town was the best thing for us then.

Before we had a car Brendan and I always took our children on walks along the river or into a forest, nearby.  When our family increased we went for drives to the beach or other beauty sites a little further away.  Everyone piled into our minibus and headed out for a drive after tea or on a Saturday to enjoy nature.  We returned tired, refreshed and had a good night’s sleep.

Being in the middle of nature did lift any stress we or our children were under.  Any bad feelings or attitudes were forgotten as the children played together.  Brendan knew what would do us all good.  No need for headache tablets or Prozac for us.

Brendan and I now live in the country, beside a forest and the sea.  We have a double portion of nature.  Each time Brendan and I would take a walk for a mile along the foreshore we see something new.   One evening we saw six large storks that rose up from their feeding places as we walked along.   Their big wings flapped like skirts and they screeched, because they were unsettled from their feeding positions.  Never mind we had a wonderful display.

Another time I noticed something stir in the shallow water off the shore.  Air bubbled to the surface.  Was there a whale or dolphin out there.  No, three divers came to the surface.  It is a popular spot to explore wrecks of ships out in the bay.   A seal swam in the water along side as we walked by another time.  Every evening  there is a beautiful sky as the sun shines through the clouds at sunset.

We went for a walk along Barhill Rd, a National Trust property one Saturday evening.  Not many people know about it.  A lane took us to open ground beside a near a newly sown corn field.  We saw six hares play together in the evening sun.  The path continued down to the sea.  We walked along a bar made from stones throw up by decades of sea waves.  Across from us on an island lay many fat seals, safe from an intrusion.  We rested a while, amazed.  “How Great Thou Art”

Brendan and I are certainly enjoying nature and our minds and moods are being changed by the healing environment where we live.  Our souls are being restored.

Yes I recommend old and young getting out in nature for a walk.  You will be surprised by the show God puts on for you.   You can listen to the music of birds, leaves, wind and waves.  Your eyes will see life around you.

Nature declares the Glory of God!

Your Garden can be a Little Bit of Heaven.

I loved watching the gardening programme on TV, Gardeners World, with Alan Titchmarsh.   He introduced us to the beauty and peace of gardening even if one didn’t have a garden of their own or were too busy with other work at hand, which for me was raising children.

Last summer after we moved house I was up early and out into the sunshine.  It was the beginning of a new season for my husband and myself.  We had left behind a big house and a big garden with mature trees.  We didn’t need the big house any more.  Our children had left home.   It was goodbye to my herb garden and Magnolia tree we had planted years before.

We brought all our potted plants with us, plants that Brendan and I had collected over many years.  It was always a surprise to see each spring what would erupt from each pot.  We had forgotten what was in each one.  Those early morning, quiet moments inspired me to give some attention to the life springing up in the pots. There was need for some care.   I watered, weeded, uprooted, divided, replanted and pruned as necessary.   I got my hands dirty repotting some that were pot bound.

Those early mornings in the sunshine was doing me good.  I was experiencing healing in my mind after all the trauma of suffering from cancer.  As Psalm 23 says, “My soul was being restored.”   I was not lying awake worrying, or nursing some grudge, or feeling depressed and not wanting to get out of bed.  When I awoke I got up.  The dawn chorus greeted me.  I looked up and saw aeroplanes on their way from North America to some destination in the east, perhaps London.  I marvelled  how God looks after all of creation.  He does not slumber.  I was up early to meet him in my garden.

I was not surprised when I came across this article on the internet about “How dirt makes you happy,” by Bonnie L Grant.  I quote,

“Prozac may not be the only way to get rid of your serious blues. Soil microbes have been found to have similar effects on the brain and are without side effects and chemical dependency potential. Learn how to harness the natural antidepressant in soil and make yourself happier and healthier. Read on to see how dirt makes you happy.

Did you know that there’s a natural antidepressant in soil? It’s true. Mycobacterium vaccae is the substance under study and has indeed been found to mirror the effect on neurons that drugs like Prozac provide. The bacterium is found in soil and may stimulate serotonin production, which makes you relaxed and happier. Studies were conducted on cancer patients and they reported a better quality of life and less stress.”

I agree.  I have found that working in my garden has brought me healing.

Our ancestors Adam and Eve’s home was a garden.  All the work they had to do was tend the garden and eat its fruit.

This year I am working in my garden.  I am getting the healing benefits of breathing in the fresh air and other good things released from the earth to help my immune system and calm my nervous system.  I get to enjoy the gentle wet rain on my face, or the warm sunshine on my back.   I enjoy the exercise of watering and weeding.  I am tired at the end of the day and I am ready for sleep.  I get the benefits as well of fresh lettuce and herbs to brighten up my meals.  In the spring I planted all kinds of lettuce, celery, cabbage and many herbs in my raised beds.  I am using bio friendly sea weed that I collect from the beach as a fertiliser.  My vegetables are flourishing.

I was reading a book recently.  The author was recounting how her parents had a stormy relationship.  Her mother died at fifty three of cancer and never lived to see the author’s success in life.  The writer had a dream about her mother.  In the dream her mother was happy tending her garden that was filled with all kinds of beautiful flowers and plants.  The dream was showing her that her mother is in happy place where there is beauty and peace, heaven.

I know there is a heaven, but God doesn’t want me to go there yet.  He wants me to enjoy heaven on earth and tell others they can have heaven on earth too.  Every believer says the Lord’s Prayer, Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.  Bring heaven on earth.  There is no sickness in heaven, no strife, no war, no crying or evil.  As the scientists have discovered get out in your garden and your mood will change.  You can have a heaven on earth in your garden, where you will experience peace, joy, healing and restoration.

Kiss of the sun for pardon,

Song of birds for mirth,

You’re closer to God’s heart in a garden,

Than any place on earth.

Author, Dorothy Frances Gurney

I attended a funeral service in my local Church.  The pastor was telling us about the man who had just died.  He had lived to the ripe old age of ninety two.  “In retirement he and his wife enjoyed gardening” the celebrant recounted.  “He grew vegetables and his wife grew flowers.”  They both loved gardening.  I hope my husband and I enjoy a long life like this couple did.

Thy Kingdom come on earth.

Daily Prompt. Through the Window.

I live in a beautiful place.  I live on the Narrows at the entrance to Strangford Lough, the largest sea lough in Ireland.

Today the weather is different than many of the days recently.  Winds blew and the surface of the water was ruffled.  In the distance the sea swell made breaking waves at the mouth of the lough.  Yesterday sea and sky were grey.  The  sea reflected the storm clouds.

But today all is well.  I look out my window and see still, blue waters that stretch to the mouth of the lough where it joins the Irish Sea.  It is unusually quiet.  There is no bird song.  There are no birds flitting about.  They have no need to attract a mate.  The young have flown the nest.

The Strangford Ferry is out in the middle of the bay.  The sound of the Diesel engine is a welcome sound.  It breaks the silence.  It is faithful to travel back and forth between Portaferry and Stangford.  It provides an important service.  I do not feel cut off from the rest of the world.  One mile down the road I can catch this ferry and It brings me into the world again.

For the moment I am enjoying the view out my window.  The sea meets the sky in the middle of my panorama.  Both are blue today.  The morning sun rises.  There is a contrast of greens before me.  My lawn, which was cut recently, is light green.  The mature trees’ leaves are dark green.  Their green outline stands out against the blue sky.   Red poppies and hosta at the side of my garden welcome the warm sunshine.

Our cat sits on the window sill, waiting patiently for her meal.  She washs her face with her paw.  I don’t feel guilty as I eat my breakfast.

The lough seawater slowly rises with the tide and approaches the sea wall at the bottom of my garden.
Today there are no crashing waves making the waters approach menacing.  A lone yacht is anchored in the bay.  There is no sound of the metal tinkling against the mast.

I thank God this morning for the view out my window.  My eyes are brightened.   I am alive to see the goodness of God in the land of the Living.

Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, (‭Psalm‬ ‭13‬:‭3‬ NIV)

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/

What Happened to the Long Sunny Days?

Here in Ireland we have had a wet, windy, cold July.  Fires were lit and the heating turned up in our homes.  Festivals were damped by the bad weather.  People were beginning to suffer S.A.D. syndrome.  This is a condition which describes someone who is depressed because he hasn’t received enough sunshine.
I encouraged myself and others “Don’t worry there will be good weather soon because the farmers have to harvest their crops.”
The Lord promises seed time and harvest.

“As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.” (‭Genesis‬ ‭8‬:‭22‬ NIV)

The warm, still, bright, sunny weather has arrived!  While out driving yesterday we saw a field of corn  that was harvested.  The grain was taken away in a big truck and the golden straw was freshly baled.
At eight o’clock last evening a local farmer was preparing grass to be made into silage.  He was drawing a machine that was about eighteen foot wide.  It gathered the cut grass into a line.  Another machine is used to collect the grass into circular bales.  Last night after twelve we heard the sound of tractors trundling along the road nearby.  They worked through the night in case the weather changed.

I mused.  We do have “climate change.”

I remember my father harvesting a field of corn.  His family were out helping him, girls and boys.  My brother and he would cut the corn while we came behind gathering the cut stalks into bundles and tying them with a few stalks pulled from the bunch.  A stook would be formed by standing four sheaves of corn on their ends and tied together at the top.  This helped the sheaves to dry.  We worked together as a family.  Those were happy days for my father with his family around him.  Mummy would bring tea and homemade bread drenched with butter to the field for the workers.  It tasted good eating a bit of bread and a drink of tea in the sunshine together.  A hare would scuttle in the distance and the corncrake sang in the meadow.  Sweet communion, mankind with each other and with nature.  

The warm days lasted as we harvested the crops.  I do believe we don’t have as many warm days nowadays.  One reason for  climate change I suppose no one has thought of.  The modern farm machinery do the work of many men and finish the work in a shorter time.  They don’t need as many good days.  The hares and corncrakes have left the meadows because the farm machines destroy their nests.  One farmer owns many acres and meadows.  Gone are the days when a small farmer could make a living to feed his family.  The youth have gone from the land too.  The joy of harvest is missing in our land.  There is not the community atmosphere of helping one another to gather in the harvest.  The talk, sharing of stories and the banter is missing.  In Ireland, people danced at the crossroads when the harvest was over.  Marriages were made and family ties strengthened to help one another through another year.  The days of sunshine have left too!

Do You Need A Physician ?

Perhaps you have come to my blog because you have just been diagnosed with cancer or you have a family member or a friend who has cancer.  I want to tell first of all do not be afraid.  I had fourth stage bowel cancer and I am healed.  You too can be healed by believing that Jesus can heal you.

When it was confirmed I had cancer I was in a daze.  I didn’t know what fourth stage cancer was.  In the quiet hours of the night when my family was asleep I would look on the internet to research the cancer I had.  After finding out the facts I then searched to see if there was any report on the internet of anyone that was completely healed of cancer. I found stories about how people changed their diet and how it helped them fight the disease. But I did find stories of individuals who were healed by the power of God.

Most of the testimonies were of people far away in America.  They were so far removed from me in Ireland.  Would God be interested to touch me in Ireland?

God reached down and healed me.  I am completely free from cancer now five years and I do not have to take medication. I chose to believe that there is a God who can heal all diseases.  I read about this God in the scriptures. If you are reading this, then please find a bible somewhere and begin to read it.  It will be medicine to your body, soul and spirit.  Try out this medicine. You take the advice of the doctor.  Don’t you.  Why not try God’s medicine.  Take it daily.

You can read about The God who promises to heal.  Jesus paid the price by dying on the cross and shedding his blood.  My advice to you is to believe in God and ask him to heal you.  He loves you and wants you to know that he can heal you.  If you have faith that God will heal you, then receive your healing.  It is a personal decision you make. You don’t have to be a religious, holy, or good person to be healed.  There are no conditions except to  believe that God will heal.  We have special doctors who help the sick but Jesus is the Great Physician and he is looking for you.  Be strengthened for the journey ahead of you.  Like me you may go through the fire but you will not smell of smoke.

They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: . (‭Mark‬ ‭2‬:‭17‬ KJV)