Tag Archives: family

What it is like to be going through Empty Nest Syndrome!

I wrote about our present home before.
It was the provision of The Lord fourteen years ago for us and the nine children who still lived at home.
We now have an empty nest!  There are no more fledglings left!  They are grown up and have moved on from their parents.  Yes, it is lonely after all the activity of a full household.  Instead of children running up and down the stairs all I hear is the timbers creaking.
Many of the seven bedrooms are empty.  The heating is turned off in the rooms.  Where there used to be life, chatter, laughter, lights on and essays being written, there is silence and a chill in the air.
There is no one to call to make a cup of tea and have a chat.  There is no news about what friends are up to.
There are no cries of “Who touched my Razor.”  “Where is my toothbrush?” “Who used my hair jell?” “Dinner is ready!” “It is prayer time.  Come down for prayers.”
I do not have to check the rooms to see if everyone is in bed.  My boys and girls slept in peace in their warm beds.  They were always well rested to face all the activity of their young lives.  He gives his beloved sleep.  Psalm 127 v 2
There are five levels of stairs in my home so one had to shout loud.  Even then everyone did not hear the call.
An African man came to visit.  He enjoyed all the buzz in our home.  It reminded him of his own country where there is plenty of activity and noise.
The jam in the cupboard grows mould because there is no one to eat peanut and jam sandwiches.  I throw out vegetables and leftovers in the fridge because there are no hungry boys coming in from football to eat them.
The washing machines are silent.  I would have two washing machines on the go to wash towels and all the jeans and socks.
The house was warmer then with all the bodies in the house.  There was help to keep fires lit and logs cut.  I loved the sound of the Hoover on the landing.  I knew the carpets were getting refreshed.  Now the dust gathers and we don’t see it.  Cobwebs grow on the shutters.
A proverb says “Where there are no cattle the stall is clean but with increase of oxen there is strength.”  There always was help to keep the family going.  The children did their chores.
There are no football bags in the corridor to trip over.  I don’t have to replace many toilet rolls.  There is no smell of burnt toast.  The kitchen sink is not full of dirty saucepans.  All the signs of life are gone.
The grass is beginning to grow in the spring sunshine.  The plant pots need refreshed. Hedgerows need pruned.  The work is too much for two of us.  Reluctantly Brendan and I have agreed to downsize.  We have to leave this Old House that has lovingly protected us and our children for fourteen years.  It has been a shelter from the wind and rain.  It’s gardens provided play areas for our children and their friends and grandchildren,  soil to grow my vegetables, trees to climb and swings to dangle from.
Take a look at this video on YouTube:
Brendan and I and the children have enjoyed many times of tea on the front garden where the morning sun shines.  The children come down one by one to sit with us and enjoy the moment. We enjoyed many barbecues and conversations around camp fires.  It’s hedgerows provided homes for blackbirds, doves, robins and sparrows.  Blossoms on the Laburum, Magnolia and Rhododendron tress signalled spring.
We had champagne on the lawn for our son’s wedding.  That was a great success.  And the birthday parties?
We are moving on before all the spring activity starts and I will be tempted to stay.  We will keep the memories in our hearts.
Thank you God for providing this house in which our family flourished.
video of This Old House by Shaking Stevens With thanks.

Special Ingredient in My Kitchen

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With my big family I learned to shop for vegetables, meat and other ingredients that would be nourishing and filling.  Brendan and I took turns at making our own bread.
 
When I was away, perhaps in hospital having a new baby, my husband would make a meal.  He named it “Tuna de Beano.”  The main ingredients were tuna and beans.  But Brendan told the children how wonderful this meal he was making was going to be, that they got so excited they ate every last drop.  Brendan’s favourite ingredient was excitement.
 
When the children were young I would make a stew with one pound of minced meat.  When the children were older, with six growing boys, I still made a stew with one pound of mince meat!  The food seemed to multiply in the pot!  I would add herbs from my garden, bay leaf, parsley, celery, rosemary and sage.  Whatever vegetables that were at hand were cubed, sometimes turnip, carrots or parsnips.  Stock cubs are important to give flavour.
 
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I would leave the stew to simmer in a big saucepan on the log burning stove in my kitchen.
 
My children loved my stews.  They looked forward to what I had at lunchtime when they took a break from school.  We were blessed with the Grammar school being near our home.  No expensive school meals for my children.  
 
I had a dream one night.  In it I was making a stew as usual.  But there were white strands through out it.  A voice said to me “Those are strands of love you have put in the stew for your family.”
 
So my Special Ingredient in my kitchen is Love.
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

The Practicalities of Living in The Real World

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What is life about.”  “Is my life worth living?”  “Who am I in the midst of millions of people on the earth?” I asked myself these questions.
 
When I had two children I began to think more seriously about how I would guide them in life.  Children are not just for Christmas.  They are for life.
 
The family unit is the environment a child is born into.  In that place, depending on the parents, the child can feel secure, loved and learn to trust.  If the home is not a secure place, if the parents are not loving, then the child will not have a good start in live.
 
If he does not receive love along the way in his formative years, in the extended family, at school, from the community, then the child will not have a good experience in life.  He will be disadvantaged in overcoming difficulties this world throws at him.
 
I decided I would have to make some sacrifices to think of my children before myself.  I wanted them to grow up in a loving home.  I knew I would have to make changes in my relationship with my husband.
Was there any help out there?  I searched, asked questions, I was looking for truth.  I looked at other people that were rearing their children.  Did I want the way they lived?  Were others successful?  How did their children turn out?
 
My husband and I travelled with our two children to Findhorn, a community in the north of Scotland.  Did they have the answer for community living?  We wanted to find a community of people that demonstrated love.  
 
At the time in Northern Ireland the Christian communities were at war.  There was hatred in the atmosphere and we were all under that cloud.
 
We returned home.  We knew Findhorn was not for us.  
 
I was given a bible and I began to read it.  Jesus claimed to be the way, the truth and the life.  Now I was getting somewhere.  I was looking for truth.
 
I read on.  Jesus said God gave Moses the commandment to love one another, and to love your neighbour as yourself.  Okay here I find someone talking about loving one another.  But there was war in Northern Ireland.  I was confused.  I decided to find out more what Jesus said and take my eyes off man.
 
Jesus prayed “Thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.”  I thought I will have to look to God in Heaven.  Life on earth revolves around God not me.  
 
I began to follow Jesus’ guidance about prayer.  I went into my room and prayed to God in Heaven.  I learnt to forgive others anything they did against me.  I had joy when God answered my prayers.
 
I read, “Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Matthew 26:40, 41 NIV)
 
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 The Garden Of Gethsemene where the disciples were found sleeping.
 
I decided to spend fifteen minutes praying and fifteen minutes reading the bible.  Sometimes I  may have  prayed for an hour.  It was a start.  I decided to do what Jesus said “Abide in me.”  I wanted to be fruitful for God.
 
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit;

apart from me you can do nothing.  If my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.”(John 15:5, 7, 8 NIV)

 
What a statement Jesus made!   I can do nothing without him.  I believed!
 
He began to change me.  He brought new friends into my life.  He gave me patience.  My money went further.  I was getting on with my husband.  We did things together.  The Truth began to teach me.
 
I grew in wisdom.  God gave me wisdom. Wisdom has to do with becoming skilful in honouring others, loving, raising my children, handling money, morality, working, treating others kindly, not arguing, living in an attitude of peace and not war.
 
Heaven was coming on earth in my life.  I had love, peace and joy.  I was finding meaning to life on earth.  I wanted to continue on this journey.
 
Why not go into your room and pray to the Father in heaven.  He is listening and will answer.
 

 

My Experience on A Flight Yesterday. Write a Post in the Present Tense

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I am on a flight to Tel Aviv, at 37000 feet altitude. The sky is blue right to the horizon.  I am enjoying the brightness up here.  As I look below I see the snow capped mountains and the cloud filled valleys of the Alps.
 
 
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 Life is all around me inside the aircraft.  There are many families with young children on this flight.  There were prams and car seats folded beside the stairs as we boarded the aircraft.  In the past when Brendan and I took some of our children on holidays we would be the only young family on the flight.
 
Families are sharing their fruit and sandwichs   There is a pleasant waft of freshly peeled orange.  Mothers nurse babies.  Toddlers are being entertained with stories their mums are reading to them.  Women are standing in the isles, stopping to chat with friends.  I am thinking this is like a small community on an airoplane.  My neighbour says “I have never been on a flight like this, with so much activity.”  We quieter folk read a book, do a crossword, Sudoku or write on one’s i Pad.
 
It is three o’clock, prayer time?  It is the time Jesus died on the cross.  The men, with their hats on, are standing at the back and front of the aisle.  They read from their books of prayers.  I am reminded of the the Book of Daniel.  He was a governor in Babylon and was one of the Jewish exiles taken there when the temple was destroyed.
 
He did his job very well and other officials in the King of Babylon’s kingdom were jealous of Daniel.  They wanted to get rid of him.  The only thing they could hold against him was that he prayed three times a day.  He got put in the Den of Lions because he refused to stop praying or bow down to any other God.  And his God delivered him.
 
I think “Do I take God serious enough to talk to him three times a day.”  If  I love someone who loves me and has blessed me so much in my life, I want to spend time with him.  I am going to spend some time now reading from my book of prayers!
 
 
 
 

 

Appreciating my Parents after Rearing my own Children, DPchallenge

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I had two children of my own.  I was twenty four years old, and lived far away from immediate family.
My life experiences were living on a farm in a big family, going to an all girls school, and attending a new university in a small town in Northern Ireland.
 
Things were about to change.  There was turmoil in our country with bombings and shootings.  People were killed, buildings reduced to rubble.  The dark clouds gathered.  Even the weather portrayed the gloom and fear over the land.
 
I must have been affected by that fear in the atmosphere even though the town where we lived was a safe place.  I began to wonder how can I keep my two children safe?  What example can I give them?  Who is right in the middle of the war?  What values can I pass on to them.
 
I remembered back to my own upbringing by my parents.  Mum and Dad worked hard on a farm to raise  us ten children, eight girls and two boys.  They did not have much money.  They sacrificed their own comfort and luxuries to look after us.  Dad was a pioneer.  He educated all of us.  He believed girls should get the same opportunities as the boys.  They had quiet faith in God.  By their actions I know they were Christians, as the old chorus goes “They will know we are Christians by their love.”
 
I knew nothing about sectarianism and wondered why Catholics were fighting Protestants.  I began to seek God.  I began a journey of faith.
 
As my family and my faith in God grew I was able to appreciate the values my parents held and their willingness to lay down their lives to rear their children and overcome hard times, trials and disappointments.  Brendan and I did not want our children to grow up to be bitter and have hatred in their hearts for their neighbours.  We worship with and love Catholics and Protestants.  Our children have married into both groups.  
 
I did not appreciate my parents when I was growing up.  I did not thank them.  I did not honor them. I wanted to leave home and see what the world had to offer.  Now, as I have gone through the work of raising children I appreciate what my parents did for me.  I have a good heritage.  I honor them.
 
My mum died at sixty four.  She did not get to see all her grandchildren.  I could have died three years ago, but Praise God he healed me and I am alive to tell other mothers there is hope and life.  May you live to see your children’s children.
 
 
 

 

Blurb for book I want to write.

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My husband and I wrote a book called Staying Alive.  It tells about my journey from being diagnosed with fourth cancer to the head consultant writing me a letter to say he could find no trace of the nine centimetre tumour in my colon. Four years on, I am staying alive and I have produced this book about my family.
Whatever your views have been about having children up to now, this book about our big family will change your ideas forever.
I tell stories about life from day to day in our home, how God interrupted our lives and guided us on a journey we did not choose.  Scripture says I chose you.
Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction. (Isaiah 48:10 KJV)
You will laugh, you will cry, you will have renewed hope and courage.  This book will bring healing to you, your marriage and your wider family.  My book tells of restoration of broken relationships by the power of God.  Barriers broken down and unity and love restored in family.
God came into my life and has multiplied me to become a tribe of forty nine.!  I have fourteen children, ten in laws, twenty eight grandchildren, one great grand child and counting.
The least of you will become a thousand, the smallest a mighty nation. I am the Lord; in its time I will do this swiftly.” (Isaiah 60:22 NIV)

Family get togethers. Weekly Photo Challenge

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Family.
Thank you for the opportunity to publish some of our family photos.  My husband is a great photographer.  He has recorded many events over the years. He has progressed from a camera that developed its own photo, back in 1971, till today he has the best in digital.
Here are a few family photos.
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 This photo was taken at my sixtieth birthday and our fortieth wedding anniversary gathering back in 2011.  I was one year healed of cancer.
I am reminded of the scripture,
Then our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants, and our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace. (Psalm 144:12 NIV)
A taxi driver asked my husband one time, “How  many sons have you.”He replyed “Eight.”  The man said “You will go straight to heaven because it must be hell on earth.”  But it hasn’t  been hell.  We have to live together in peace and love.  We are quick to forgive and not hold a grudge.
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This photo was taken in Slovakia, back in 2009, on a skiiing trip.  People ask “How do you do it. A skiing trip for all of you must cost the earth. only the rich go skiing.”.  With the help of Ryanair and my son finding a cabin that fitted all of us we got there.
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This photo includes my sons and daughters in law and our nine grandchildren.  Three more have been born since then.  Our tribe is increasing.

We  are blessed by God with our children.  We believe the promise in Psalm 127 v 3 that children are a heritage from The Lord the fruit of the womb a reward.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/01/17/photo-challenge-family-2/

How to Heat a Two Hundred Year old House.

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This week I got a harvest of wood.  Last summer a friend asked me if I had a wood burning stove.  I told her I had four.  I bought two of the burners very cheaply.  Many people nowadays prefer gas or oil for their heating.  Cutting wood is hard work and wood is in short supply.  I had the workers, all I needed was the wood.
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She told me her neighbour had left stacks of broken logs in her part of the grounds where a few trees had been cleared.  I was delighted with her offer.  My stack of logs needed replenished.  In the autumn I went out to see this new source of wood.  My boys did not have to do the heavy work of cutting down the trees or chainsawing thick trunks.  They pulled out logs from the stack in sizes manageable to carry to the van.  Two days work supplied us with wood we are still using.  The boys chop the wood back in our garden and store it.

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I visited my friend this week to thank her and she said we are welcome anytime.  Brendan and the boys decided to gather in some wood before they returned to university.  It started to rain the day work was to start.  But undeterred Brendan and the boys headed off. The rain stopped.
We had storms recently.  In the middle a Eileen’s garden was a tree that had fallen in the storm.  Brendan and the boys cut it up and now all the tree is in my back garden.
When I moved to our present home which has seven bedrooms, fourteen years ago I was wondering how were we going to heat it.  It is two hundred years old and had some fire places and some oil heating.  To keep us comfortable may be costly.
I had a dream.  In it I saw a stack of wood, a stack of coal and a stack of turf.  I believe God was showing me he would supply the fuel for my big house.  To the back of our home was a small wood that needed cleared for houses to be built.  That was our supply of wood for a few years.
One spring, trees were washed up on a local beach in a big storm.  I discovered it and alerted Brendan.  In no time, with the boys help, we had the van full of wood.
Another friend, who lived in a big estate offered us any fallen trees.  So God supplied the stack of wood, and the turf and coal.  From time to time we bring home turf from Kerry when we return from holiday.  I burn coal only on the cold days.  So I have not had a big bill for fuel in the years we have lived here.
When I had the dream I was reminded of the poem by Padraic Colum.

Old Woman of the Roads

O, to have a little house!
To own the hearth and stool and all!
The heaped up sods against the fire,
The pile of turf against the wall!
To have a clock with weights and chains
And pendulum swinging up and down!
A dresser filled with shining delph,
Speckled and white and blue and brown!
I could be busy all the day
Clearing and sweeping hearth and floor,
And fixing on their shelf again
My white and blue and speckled store!
I could be quiet there at night
Beside the fire and by myself,
Sure of a bed and loth to leave
The ticking clock and the shining delph!
Och! but I’m weary of mist and dark,
And roads where there’s never a house nor bush,
And tired I am of bog and road,
And the crying wind and the lonesome hush!
And I am praying to God on high,
And I am praying Him night and day,
For a little house – a house of my own
Out of the wind’s and the rain’s way.

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When the chilly winds and rain of winter blow, we are cosy in our big house with the home fires burning.  My son said he misses the warm fires when he is away.  I even have a dresser of my own with the Delph.

POPE FRANCIS APPROVES OF BREASTFEEDING IN CHURCH, LIKE MY BIBLICAL STAND THIRTY FIVE YEARS AGO.

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Mothers shouldn’t feel uncomfortable breastfeeding during ceremonies.

Pope Francis baptised 32 babies in the Sistine Chapel on Sunday and told their mothers to have no qualms about feeding them there. 
Feed your babies if you want, Pope Francis tells mothers in Sistine Chapel
 “Today the choir will sing but the most beautiful choir of all is the choir of the infants who will make a noise. Some will cry because they are not comfortable or because they are hungry,” he said in a familiar, relaxed tone to the parents.
Michelangelo’s frescoes in the Sistine Chapel are some of the world’s most celebrated works of art. The ceiling depicts the creation of man and the altar wall shows a severe God at the Last Judgement.

But the pope told the mothers not to feel intimidated by the surroundings.

“If they are hungry, mothers, feed them, without thinking twice. Because they are the most important people here,” he said, speaking in the same room where he was elected on March 13 as the first non-European pope in 1,600 years.

Francis said in an interview last month that mothers should not feel uncomfortable breastfeeding during his ceremonies.

Quoted from Pope Francis

Back in September 2013 I wrote a blog, “Unto us a child is born.” You can look it up on wordpress.com angela mc cauley. I told how I breast fed my child in church when my baby was crying.  I quote
“I took all my children to church.  I carried the youngest baby in a sling tucked close to me so if the child cried I could breast feed the baby discreetly, or so I thought.  One day a man complained that “I should not be feeding the baby in church.”  I was discouraged.  Then I read the scripture in Joel  2:16 about calling the nursing mothers and the infants at their breast into the solemn assembly.  God did not disapprove of my breastfeeding in church and I would feed a whole lot more before it was all over.”
This happened thirty five years ago.  Today my son Aaron , whom I wrote about, emailed me the above information.
So I am pleased today that I am vindicated by Pope Francis.

DAVID’S BIRTHDAY part two

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My daughter got in touch with Brendan at the airport.  The information desk paged him on the intercom.  He was soon to board his flight to London.  He returned home to be with me at the hospital.  Our baby was well on its way when Brendan arrived.  I was delighted to see him.  The labour progressed.  Brendan brought me extra courage and strength.  David was born, a healthy baby boy of ten pounds with a strong pair of lungs.

I have always been excited when I started in labour.  I know the waiting is over and my baby will be born soon.  I had no fear for my well being or my child’s health.  I believe in God’s promise that “Children are a gift from God”Psalm 127 v 3 and “He will keep me safe in childbearing.” 1 Timothy 2 verse 1.

Children wait in anticipation for a Christmas present from parents, or “Santa Claus” and do not be disappointed.  Before Christmas I see parents going around franticly looking for their children’s presents, greeting stressed out and spending much money.

“You fathers—if your children ask for a fish, do you give them a snake instead? Or if they ask for an egg, do you give them a scorpion? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him.” (Luke 11:11-13 NLT)

Brendan and I decided many years ago to delete Santa Claus out of our family.  We had many reasons.

1.  Santa Claus is a lie. If we as parents tell our children lies when they are young, then how will they trust us  to believe important things we tell them later in life.

2.  This lie is mixed in with an important event in the Christian calendar, Christmas, the birth of Jesus, a gift from God the Father.   It is good to give gifts to one another at this time to celebrate God’s gift to us.  But let us be truthful about it. You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free.

3.  One can live within ones means.  Many people get into debt at Christmas time.  The consumer society makes most profit at this time.  How come Santa does not go to the poor countries of Africa?

4.  One does not have to get stressed out living up to expectations of having to buy presents, Christmas tree, turkey, make big meals, celebrating.  Christmas Day is the most stressful day of the year when family tensions run high.

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. (Matthew 6:31-34 NLT)

5.  Many people want the fun, fellowship and feasting but do not acknowledge the One that Christmas is all about.

It turned out that eight of our children were born around the Christmas season.  Our children were gifts from God to us.

I was very comfortable in the maternity unit I was transferred to.  It was a home from home.  Twenty five years ago mothers were happy to stay in hospital to get help with their babies. One could get a good night’s sleep.  The night nurses fed the babies.  Now because of financial cuts and mother’s choice the stay in hospital is one or two days after the baby is delivered.

I was happy for Brendan to go to the conference.  I would stay in hospital and enjoy the care, until his return.  I got plenty of rest, good food, and had time to bond with my beautiful new son.
I had no care for tomorrow.

David is a bright, handsome young man.  He has a heart to work with disadvantaged people.  He has already worked in Nicaragua and India.  He is overcoming difficulties to get into his destiny that God had planned for him before he was born. May God bless him this year.

It is also the twenty fifth anniversary of the Keg Worth aircraft crash today. On the night of David,s birth, when Brendan was on his way from Belfast to London, a flight from London to Belfast crashed with 114 people on board.  Forty seven people died.  It is a sad day for many.  I will not forget David’s birthday.