Tag Archives: children

What it is like to be going through Empty Nest Syndrome!

I wrote about our present home before.
It was the provision of The Lord fourteen years ago for us and the nine children who still lived at home.
We now have an empty nest!  There are no more fledglings left!  They are grown up and have moved on from their parents.  Yes, it is lonely after all the activity of a full household.  Instead of children running up and down the stairs all I hear is the timbers creaking.
Many of the seven bedrooms are empty.  The heating is turned off in the rooms.  Where there used to be life, chatter, laughter, lights on and essays being written, there is silence and a chill in the air.
There is no one to call to make a cup of tea and have a chat.  There is no news about what friends are up to.
There are no cries of “Who touched my Razor.”  “Where is my toothbrush?” “Who used my hair jell?” “Dinner is ready!” “It is prayer time.  Come down for prayers.”
I do not have to check the rooms to see if everyone is in bed.  My boys and girls slept in peace in their warm beds.  They were always well rested to face all the activity of their young lives.  He gives his beloved sleep.  Psalm 127 v 2
There are five levels of stairs in my home so one had to shout loud.  Even then everyone did not hear the call.
An African man came to visit.  He enjoyed all the buzz in our home.  It reminded him of his own country where there is plenty of activity and noise.
The jam in the cupboard grows mould because there is no one to eat peanut and jam sandwiches.  I throw out vegetables and leftovers in the fridge because there are no hungry boys coming in from football to eat them.
The washing machines are silent.  I would have two washing machines on the go to wash towels and all the jeans and socks.
The house was warmer then with all the bodies in the house.  There was help to keep fires lit and logs cut.  I loved the sound of the Hoover on the landing.  I knew the carpets were getting refreshed.  Now the dust gathers and we don’t see it.  Cobwebs grow on the shutters.
A proverb says “Where there are no cattle the stall is clean but with increase of oxen there is strength.”  There always was help to keep the family going.  The children did their chores.
There are no football bags in the corridor to trip over.  I don’t have to replace many toilet rolls.  There is no smell of burnt toast.  The kitchen sink is not full of dirty saucepans.  All the signs of life are gone.
The grass is beginning to grow in the spring sunshine.  The plant pots need refreshed. Hedgerows need pruned.  The work is too much for two of us.  Reluctantly Brendan and I have agreed to downsize.  We have to leave this Old House that has lovingly protected us and our children for fourteen years.  It has been a shelter from the wind and rain.  It’s gardens provided play areas for our children and their friends and grandchildren,  soil to grow my vegetables, trees to climb and swings to dangle from.
Take a look at this video on YouTube:
Brendan and I and the children have enjoyed many times of tea on the front garden where the morning sun shines.  The children come down one by one to sit with us and enjoy the moment. We enjoyed many barbecues and conversations around camp fires.  It’s hedgerows provided homes for blackbirds, doves, robins and sparrows.  Blossoms on the Laburum, Magnolia and Rhododendron tress signalled spring.
We had champagne on the lawn for our son’s wedding.  That was a great success.  And the birthday parties?
We are moving on before all the spring activity starts and I will be tempted to stay.  We will keep the memories in our hearts.
Thank you God for providing this house in which our family flourished.
video of This Old House by Shaking Stevens With thanks.

Special Ingredient in My Kitchen

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With my big family I learned to shop for vegetables, meat and other ingredients that would be nourishing and filling.  Brendan and I took turns at making our own bread.
 
When I was away, perhaps in hospital having a new baby, my husband would make a meal.  He named it “Tuna de Beano.”  The main ingredients were tuna and beans.  But Brendan told the children how wonderful this meal he was making was going to be, that they got so excited they ate every last drop.  Brendan’s favourite ingredient was excitement.
 
When the children were young I would make a stew with one pound of minced meat.  When the children were older, with six growing boys, I still made a stew with one pound of mince meat!  The food seemed to multiply in the pot!  I would add herbs from my garden, bay leaf, parsley, celery, rosemary and sage.  Whatever vegetables that were at hand were cubed, sometimes turnip, carrots or parsnips.  Stock cubs are important to give flavour.
 
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I would leave the stew to simmer in a big saucepan on the log burning stove in my kitchen.
 
My children loved my stews.  They looked forward to what I had at lunchtime when they took a break from school.  We were blessed with the Grammar school being near our home.  No expensive school meals for my children.  
 
I had a dream one night.  In it I was making a stew as usual.  But there were white strands through out it.  A voice said to me “Those are strands of love you have put in the stew for your family.”
 
So my Special Ingredient in my kitchen is Love.
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

The Practicalities of Living in The Real World

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What is life about.”  “Is my life worth living?”  “Who am I in the midst of millions of people on the earth?” I asked myself these questions.
 
When I had two children I began to think more seriously about how I would guide them in life.  Children are not just for Christmas.  They are for life.
 
The family unit is the environment a child is born into.  In that place, depending on the parents, the child can feel secure, loved and learn to trust.  If the home is not a secure place, if the parents are not loving, then the child will not have a good start in live.
 
If he does not receive love along the way in his formative years, in the extended family, at school, from the community, then the child will not have a good experience in life.  He will be disadvantaged in overcoming difficulties this world throws at him.
 
I decided I would have to make some sacrifices to think of my children before myself.  I wanted them to grow up in a loving home.  I knew I would have to make changes in my relationship with my husband.
Was there any help out there?  I searched, asked questions, I was looking for truth.  I looked at other people that were rearing their children.  Did I want the way they lived?  Were others successful?  How did their children turn out?
 
My husband and I travelled with our two children to Findhorn, a community in the north of Scotland.  Did they have the answer for community living?  We wanted to find a community of people that demonstrated love.  
 
At the time in Northern Ireland the Christian communities were at war.  There was hatred in the atmosphere and we were all under that cloud.
 
We returned home.  We knew Findhorn was not for us.  
 
I was given a bible and I began to read it.  Jesus claimed to be the way, the truth and the life.  Now I was getting somewhere.  I was looking for truth.
 
I read on.  Jesus said God gave Moses the commandment to love one another, and to love your neighbour as yourself.  Okay here I find someone talking about loving one another.  But there was war in Northern Ireland.  I was confused.  I decided to find out more what Jesus said and take my eyes off man.
 
Jesus prayed “Thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.”  I thought I will have to look to God in Heaven.  Life on earth revolves around God not me.  
 
I began to follow Jesus’ guidance about prayer.  I went into my room and prayed to God in Heaven.  I learnt to forgive others anything they did against me.  I had joy when God answered my prayers.
 
I read, “Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Matthew 26:40, 41 NIV)
 
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 The Garden Of Gethsemene where the disciples were found sleeping.
 
I decided to spend fifteen minutes praying and fifteen minutes reading the bible.  Sometimes I  may have  prayed for an hour.  It was a start.  I decided to do what Jesus said “Abide in me.”  I wanted to be fruitful for God.
 
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit;

apart from me you can do nothing.  If my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.”(John 15:5, 7, 8 NIV)

 
What a statement Jesus made!   I can do nothing without him.  I believed!
 
He began to change me.  He brought new friends into my life.  He gave me patience.  My money went further.  I was getting on with my husband.  We did things together.  The Truth began to teach me.
 
I grew in wisdom.  God gave me wisdom. Wisdom has to do with becoming skilful in honouring others, loving, raising my children, handling money, morality, working, treating others kindly, not arguing, living in an attitude of peace and not war.
 
Heaven was coming on earth in my life.  I had love, peace and joy.  I was finding meaning to life on earth.  I wanted to continue on this journey.
 
Why not go into your room and pray to the Father in heaven.  He is listening and will answer.
 

 

Appreciating my Parents after Rearing my own Children, DPchallenge

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I had two children of my own.  I was twenty four years old, and lived far away from immediate family.
My life experiences were living on a farm in a big family, going to an all girls school, and attending a new university in a small town in Northern Ireland.
 
Things were about to change.  There was turmoil in our country with bombings and shootings.  People were killed, buildings reduced to rubble.  The dark clouds gathered.  Even the weather portrayed the gloom and fear over the land.
 
I must have been affected by that fear in the atmosphere even though the town where we lived was a safe place.  I began to wonder how can I keep my two children safe?  What example can I give them?  Who is right in the middle of the war?  What values can I pass on to them.
 
I remembered back to my own upbringing by my parents.  Mum and Dad worked hard on a farm to raise  us ten children, eight girls and two boys.  They did not have much money.  They sacrificed their own comfort and luxuries to look after us.  Dad was a pioneer.  He educated all of us.  He believed girls should get the same opportunities as the boys.  They had quiet faith in God.  By their actions I know they were Christians, as the old chorus goes “They will know we are Christians by their love.”
 
I knew nothing about sectarianism and wondered why Catholics were fighting Protestants.  I began to seek God.  I began a journey of faith.
 
As my family and my faith in God grew I was able to appreciate the values my parents held and their willingness to lay down their lives to rear their children and overcome hard times, trials and disappointments.  Brendan and I did not want our children to grow up to be bitter and have hatred in their hearts for their neighbours.  We worship with and love Catholics and Protestants.  Our children have married into both groups.  
 
I did not appreciate my parents when I was growing up.  I did not thank them.  I did not honor them. I wanted to leave home and see what the world had to offer.  Now, as I have gone through the work of raising children I appreciate what my parents did for me.  I have a good heritage.  I honor them.
 
My mum died at sixty four.  She did not get to see all her grandchildren.  I could have died three years ago, but Praise God he healed me and I am alive to tell other mothers there is hope and life.  May you live to see your children’s children.
 
 
 

 

Family get togethers. Weekly Photo Challenge

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Family.
Thank you for the opportunity to publish some of our family photos.  My husband is a great photographer.  He has recorded many events over the years. He has progressed from a camera that developed its own photo, back in 1971, till today he has the best in digital.
Here are a few family photos.
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 This photo was taken at my sixtieth birthday and our fortieth wedding anniversary gathering back in 2011.  I was one year healed of cancer.
I am reminded of the scripture,
Then our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants, and our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace. (Psalm 144:12 NIV)
A taxi driver asked my husband one time, “How  many sons have you.”He replyed “Eight.”  The man said “You will go straight to heaven because it must be hell on earth.”  But it hasn’t  been hell.  We have to live together in peace and love.  We are quick to forgive and not hold a grudge.
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This photo was taken in Slovakia, back in 2009, on a skiiing trip.  People ask “How do you do it. A skiing trip for all of you must cost the earth. only the rich go skiing.”.  With the help of Ryanair and my son finding a cabin that fitted all of us we got there.
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This photo includes my sons and daughters in law and our nine grandchildren.  Three more have been born since then.  Our tribe is increasing.

We  are blessed by God with our children.  We believe the promise in Psalm 127 v 3 that children are a heritage from The Lord the fruit of the womb a reward.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/01/17/photo-challenge-family-2/

Speaking about The Power of God. Developing your blogging voice.

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Thanks to wordpress.com and the staff that are at hand to give advice, I have been given a Voice to write to the nations.
As I am just at the beginning of my development, age two years in the blog atmosphere, I can go at my own pace.  I am free to write when I am inspired, whether it is two blogs a day or have a gap of two or three weeks.
I have stories to tell about how God gave me his power to help me in my life;  how my husband and I raised fourteen children to third level education in this age when big families are frowned upon;  how God healed me from fourth stage cancer;  how God continues to bless me and my family as I look to him.
I am a Irish mother and housewife.  We raised our family during the years of Troubles in Northern Ireland and have survived.
I want my voice to tell about the wonders of our God who is real, who created the heavens and the earth, yet is interested in my life and shows me he cares.
I hope my stories will help others to find hope in life in this world and have hope of eternal life.
Angela

PRISONER, PENSIONER AND PRINCIPAL

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Yesterday Brendan and I went to visit a friend who is a prisoner, Brendan’s mother who is 93, and another man who is principal of a school. 

The first snow was falling as we drove early to the prison.  Our friend was glad to see us.  He was cheerful and encouraged us to keep on looking after our family.  His wife and all but one of his children do not visit him.  He realises what he has lost because of his selfishness.  He encouraged us and we encouraged him.  He is sure of God’s forgiveness and love and prays for his family.  He is hoping for restoration.

Brendan’s mother is settling home after a few days in hospital.  Despite her weakness she blessed us with Christmas gifts for our family.  She has lived a long life and has seen her children’s children’s children, all sixteen of them.  She was widowed young, reared her boys and lived humbly.  She is leaving behind a good legacy.  She has borne good fruit.

The principal of a school invited us to pray with him.  Two hundred and twenty five young children attend the school.  Jesus said “Let the little children come to me for such is the kingdom of heaven.”
We encouraged him and prayed for wisdom for his task in overseeing forty staff and all those pupils.
I always give thanks to God for the school teachers who cared for and taught my children.  I was reassured they were being well looked after, while I was busy with my younger children.

Teachers do a great job, but the parents can give the best example to their children.  How we live our lives as parents affects our children.  We do not get to be selfish for long as we rear our children.  One of my favourite verses in Exodus 20 says God promises to bless us to the thousandth generation of those who love The Lord but curses come upon our children to the fourth generation if we disobey God.  What choice will you make? 

But I believe their is hope for the prisoner and his family.  Jesus forgives our sins and promises to restore all that is lost.  Over and over in the bible we read about the children of Israel.  When they were far away from God because of their sins He always had mercy and restored them.  When I was feeling hopeless and about to die of cancer, God sent his healing and restored me.  There is hope.

Brendan and I were in Canada and Slovakia recently sharing this hope with many people.  God wants to restore families.  Jesus shed his Precious Blood to pay the price for our wrongdoing and our forefathers’ wrongdoing.  You can go free from guilt and shame.  Do not blame, just forgive.  And God will restore that which has been lost.

May God bless you and your family in this season of good will.

Angela

No Debit Card in Greece

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This week Brendan and I are in Zakynthos, our favourite Greek island. Brendan only has a debit card. The day before we left Ireland I canceled this card and ordered a new one. This new card in now in our post box back in Ireland two and a half thousand miles away. To say Brendan was unhappy when he found out is a bit of an understatement. We are budgeting whatever cash we brought.

We arrived last evening. It was a cool, had been raining, was very windy and the sea was stormy. Many hotels are closed as it is near the end of the season. Brendan was wondering if his favourite restaurant was open. Would there be any days in the sunshine? We sat out on the veranda and looked up at the bright full moon. I reassured Brendan that God is our shepherd and he promises to lead us beside still waters and green pastures to restore our souls, Psalm 23.

It is good to be back here. I am expecting to be rested, despite the jet lag. I have mentioned before that God intends for us to have times of feasting. Scripture says I would have fainted if I failed to see the goodness of God in the land of the living.

Sure enough this morning the wind stopped, the sea stilled, the sun shone, we sunbathed and ate at our favourite beach restaurant!

Zakynthos is a place we visited nineteen years ago this month. We met our good friend then. She remembers the exact date that Brendan baptised her.

We have been back to the island about twenty times. It has proven to be a place where we get rest, healing, sunshine, good food, and renew fellowship with our friend and our other good friend a Greek Orthodox nun.

Brendan brought me here just after I was diagnosed with cancer. I did not want to go anywhere after getting the news, but God strengthened me. Instead of being in hospital I was on holiday!

My body clock is still working on Irish time so I am wide awake. I have time to reflect on God’s goodness and faithfulness. We are here for fourteen days so Brendan suggested I write a little about each child on each day we are here. He promised to help me.

Shann is my first born, my beautiful, blond, curly-haired girl. Brendan and I used to talk in the night what the name of our first born baby would be. He used to say “This is a special child that has brought us together.” We rehearsed all the names we knew. Then one night I said “A cousin of mine is called Shann.” Brendan said “That’s the name if this child is a girl.”

Shann is a leader and a hard worker. I didn’t realise she was going to be the first of so many. She was an enormous help with her siblings, quietly working away without complaint. She may have found it hard at times but never showed it.

Shann now looks after her husband and four children. When Shann was expecting our first grandchild Brendan had a dream. In the dream he saw a blond haired boy. Jean Luc was born soon after.

All that training years ago did not go to waste. Shann is a great encourager and has a ministry of helps. She built up her local play group when her children were pre school age. He helps her neighbours and now works full time as a Community Nurse. People are always glad to see Shann arrive at their door. Well done Shann.

Brendan and I are proud of you.

LEARNING TO PRAY

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We met in a different home each week, maybe a farmhouse one week, a house in a posh part of town or a house in an estate another time.

I really enjoyed the hospitality, homemade goodies and coffee.

I was not long living in this area.  My relatives lived some distance away so the warmth of these ladies made me feel like they were my mother or sister, home from home.

My two children and I looked forward to Wednesday mornings.

When we met, I noticed an atmosphere of joy and peace.  Everyone was softly spoken.  It was a welcome oasis away from the hustle and bustle of daily life.

During the meeting someone would share a scripture from the bible.  We talked together about how the reading could apply to our lives. Then a lady might say that the Lord wanted her to speak into someone’s life.

How did she hear the Lord so clearly?  Who gave her authority to speak into someone else’s life.  These were some questions I had and I began to ponder about.

Thanks and requests were made to God.  Prayers were spoken aloud.  These ladies definitely believed in a god who cared about their lives and who was willing to help them in everyday matters.  They had no fear.

 I had never experienced personal prayer like this before.  In my experience any prayers that were said aloud were spoken by the minister who was always male. The words were often read from a book and not spontaneous. Praying was a private matter to the individual and definitely not to be spoken out loud. They were not afraid to pray openly.  I took courage and added my requests.  I don’t remember now all that I prayed.  One lady who attended told me later “I was the best wee evangelical she had ever heard pray”.

Perhaps one has to speak out the prayer so others can hear and agree, so the promise that if we ask anything in agreement God will answer and do for us what we ask.  How can we agree to a private prayer?

I had thought God was far away in the sky or “The Man up above who you knew was there but you did not talk to him so intimately”.  Some of these women even called him Daddy God or Abba Father.

My eyes and ears were being opened.

To be continued.

 

 

 

 

DO YOU WANT AN INHERITANCE?

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Another Monday morning and you have to get out to work, or clean up after the weekend when you tried to recharge your batteries but never quite got the required boost.  The treadmill keeps on turning and you wish someday you can step off. 

Well let today be a new start.  “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for God and not for men.  Since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord which is your reward.  It is the Lord you are serving.  And be thankful.” Colossians 3 v 15 and 23 to 24

So whatever work you do, from the company manager, the home manager, creator, student or voluntary worker you are going to get an inheritance from the Lord.  Each day counts in building up that inheritance.  It cannot be stolen from you.  It will not decay.  If you change jobs or find yourself unemployed and help someone without payment, or are a mother at home with children you are still building up an inheritance with God.  There is no devaluing in God’s bank; you can still invest, even in the recession.

Do you believe me?  Try it.  Start being thankful to God for all things, even the difficult things. You will begin to think differently and the atmosphere around you will change.  Goodness and mercy will follow you.

God is no respecter of persons.  From the king to the poor man, no matter what nationality you are, God created you and he loves you.   He rewards those who diligently seek him.  God’s plans are for you to prosper and give you a hope and a future.

Angela