One has highs and lows in life. When we returned from our holiday in Jerusalem we hit a low.
Thursday the twentieth of February I was laid low with the flu. My husband had not been well for a few days and had complained of aches and pains. I had not been very sympathetic.
For three days I was aching all over and had a temperature. I took some paracetamol and ibrofen. They did not agree with me. I felt even more wretched. My husband was sympathetic and comforted me as he knew how unpleasant this flu was. I needed his reassurance.
I was fearful during this time and felt very vulnerable. When one is weak one’s fears come rushing in. Despair took a hold of me. Would I get better. I was not thinking reasonably. I appreciated my family who visited and prayed for me to get better.
In the moments in the night I lay awake and reminded myself how God had helped me before. I remembered some of his promises.
“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.” (Psalm 91:14-16 NIV)
The next day a friend sent me a text. It was another Psalm,
Oh, the joys of those who are kind to the poor! The Lord rescues them when they are in trouble. The Lord protects them and keeps them alive. He gives them prosperity in the land and rescues them from their enemies. The Lord nurses them when they are sick and restores them to health. (Psalms 41:1-3 NLT)
This word really comforted me. I just relaxed into God’s arms and let him care for me when no one was around. When one is sick one is not in control. I could not be independant. I needed others to help me. I needed a kind word of reassurance.
I read this Psalm many years previous when I was awaiting surgery for a knee injury. The words were balm to my pain at that time. I came through the operation and was restored completely then.
Psalm 1 v 2 says Blessed is the man whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night.
I believe what the bible says. I read it regularly. It is like bread to my soul. So when I was sick I was able to remind myself of God’s promises and claim them for myself. This is faith, believing what God says he will do and wait for him to do it, not doubting. He will do the same for you. Believe what you read in the bible and God will bring it to pass.
Yes I did despair recently when sick. I doubted if I would get better. Despair is an evil spirit that makes one hopeless and sad. It makes one think things will never change. It has been an enemy of mine. Before I was diagnosed with cancer I had lost hope that things would get better in my life. But God is good. He did answer my prayers and renewed my hope and healed me.
On Sunday my husband was praying for me and I realised I was suffering from despair. I refused to think that way and I rebuked this spirit. I chose to believe that I will be healed. I got a breakthrough that afternoon. We were invited out for dinner. I enjoyed a lovely comforting home made dinner at a friend’s home. I have been feeling better and getting stronger since.
I know I need to continue to meditate on God’s Word to nourish my soul and continue to Praise and Thank Him. As I have said before from John’s gospel I can nothing without Jesus.
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15:5 NIV)
My iPad sat lonely for a couple of weeks. My chair sat empty. My room in which I write was quiet and cold.
Praise God I am healed and writing again!